Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

The old ones are best.....

[Tizer]

[Big Kev]

[Big Kev]

Things must be getting serious...

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[Stanley]

[Tizer]

[Big Kev]

Works for me

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

Very good!

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

And have a look at THIS Steve Bell cartoon in the Guardian.

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

Cathy, you've reminded me of the Charlie Chaplin movie where he is leaning against a building and when the policeman moves him on he says he is holding the building up. The policeman moves him on nevertheless and the building falls down.

[Big Kev]

I went into an eskimo restaurant and asked to see the menu. The waiter said there's not much so I'll call it out to you.
There's whale meat steak, whale meat curry and the Vera Lynn.
I asked what the Vera Lynn was, he said whale meat again.

[Cathy]

[Stanley]

Oh dear......

[Tizer]

Charlie Chaplin...I used to love the one where he's standing in front of a building and the door is open. The wall of the building falls forwards, flat onto the ground and he's still standing - just where the doorway was!

[Big Kev]

Charlie Chaplin...I used to love the one where he's standing in front of a building and the door is open. The wall of the building falls forwards, flat onto the ground and he's still standing - just where the doorway was!

I believe it was Buster Keaton, not sure if Chaplin did it too.

[Stanley]

I think Chaplin did it also Kev......

[Tizer]

Kev, thanks for the Buster Keaton link, that made my day - and I couldn't resist watching the other one shown on that page, `Some of Buster Keaton's most amazing stunts': LINK So clever, and so funny. I used to watch stuff like that, and cartoon films, over and over again as a child and wanted to grow up to be a cartoonist!

An old joke about a man cheating on his wife appeared in the newspaper this weekend....
Friend: Since when did you start wearing a corset?
Man: Since my wife found it in the car's glove box.

It went with news that corsets are back in fashion after women have spent so much time lounging about in loose clothing. (Newspaper's words, not mine.)

[Stanley]

I like that joke Peter...
My corset story is slightly different and true. At the beginning of WW2. like many others, my father was convinced the bombers would get through so he evacuated us to Burrs Mount Farm, Great Hucklow where we stayed with Mr and Mrs Hancock who farmed it. Here's the paragraph from me memoirs that covers the corset episode.
"When we first went to Burr's Mount there was a bit of a disaster as far as I was concerned. They forgot to bring my silk scarf with them. I had a green silk scarf which, if you twiddled it between your thumb and forefinger was rough one way and silky smooth the other. I always went to sleep playing with this and still twiddle silk to this day! However, on this occasion I was bereft. Mrs Hancock had the answer, she gave me a pair of corsets that had silk panels in them and this solved my problem. Later in life, what interests me is that it was evidently the texture and not the object that I had bonded to. I've no doubt a good psychiatrist could have a field day with that one!"

[Big Kev]

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[Marilyn]

My dog used to have a vet called Dr Woof. ( no joke)

[Cathy]

The Priest that performed my wedding was called Peter Lord.