Old fashioned clean jokes

User avatar
Cathy
Senior Member
Posts: 3847
Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 02:24

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Cathy »

Not funny, but interesting
E4150453-C216-487F-99E0-5ABCC4938B26.png
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. :)
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

It's amazing how the human brain can identify words from the 'pattern' the word makes.
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
plaques
Donor
Posts: 6047
Joined: 23 May 2013, 22:09

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques »

My problem is I can understand it but can't fill in the bits that are missing. :sad:
User avatar
PanBiker
Site Administrator
Site Administrator
Posts: 12470
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 13:07
Location: Barnoldswick - In the West Riding of Yorkshire, always was, always will be.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by PanBiker »

No bits missing for me, it just reads like normal. I think its our brains equivalent of predictive text but actually more accurate. :laugh5:
Ian
User avatar
plaques
Donor
Posts: 6047
Joined: 23 May 2013, 22:09

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques »

Yes but the number '3' appears to equate to the letter 'e'. the fifth letter. ( I think). OK for you code breakers but spare a thought for lesser mortals like me .
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Obvious that the fifth letter is 'S'. :biggrin2:
That's brilliant Cathy. :good:
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

20210609_170807.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

I need to have that explained to me Kev..... :biggrin2:
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

People post pictures of their whole life on social media, there's a standing joke that if it isn't on Facebook it didn't happen.
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
Cathy
Senior Member
Posts: 3847
Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 02:24

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Cathy »

A British man took a flight to Australia.
At customs , the official asked him:
“Do you have a criminal record?”
To which he replied:
“Oh! I didn’t think we needed those to get in anymore!”

:extrawink:
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. :)
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

:biggrin2:
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Thanks for the explanation Kev. That had completely passed me by.... :biggrin2:
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

When on your driving test and the examiner asks "what signs would you expect to see on a rural road"? Free range eggs for sale is not the right answer :biggrin2:
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
plaques
Donor
Posts: 6047
Joined: 23 May 2013, 22:09

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques »

Can anyone remember the 'Cattle' road sign coming down from Thornton to Earby that was modified to look like an Elephant. The Councils comment was 'Good isn't it'.
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

No, but I like the response.
Asking about countryside signs reminded me of this one.

Image
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Tizer
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 15433
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 19:46
Location: Somerset, UK

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Tizer »

I notice the official photo of the G7 leaders showed 9 people - can't they count?
Image

It turns out the extras are two EU officials.
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
User avatar
Big Kev
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 5854
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 20:15
Location: Foulridge

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev »

Childish schoolboy humour but I could resist :biggrin2:
Screenshot_20210612-184343_Metal Pro.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev

A Resigned Observer
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Image
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Tripps
VIP Member
Posts: 5393
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 14:56

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Tripps »

This made me smile. . .

. . . .makes you stronger
Born to be mild. . .
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

:biggrin2: :good:
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Image
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Image
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
Stanley
Global Moderator
Global Moderator
Posts: 67660
Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley »

Image
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net

"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
User avatar
chinatyke
Donor
Posts: 3599
Joined: 21 Apr 2012, 13:14
Location: Pingguo, Guangxi, China

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by chinatyke »

When I was nine years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a dear friend of his, someone who I didn't even know. When we got there, I stayed in a corner of the church nervously waiting for the time to pass.
A tall and kindly man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life, kid. Be happy because time flies so quickly and before we know it, it is all over.' Then he passed his hand over my head, ruffled my hair, smiled and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.
When I looked into the open coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had just spoken to me!
I was so traumatized, that for many years I couldn't sleep properly. I had terrible nightmares. I was so terrified of being alone at night. I couldn't sleep without a night light or the door wide open for many years. I saw many psychologists and endured much turmoil throughout my early adolescent years.
It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear, at the thought of the tall man smiling as he walked away.

It wasn't until years later, that I discovered something incredible that changed my whole life.
► Show Spoiler
User avatar
Cathy
Senior Member
Posts: 3847
Joined: 24 Jan 2012, 02:24

Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Cathy »

Oh China, you had me going there, so much so that I forgot which Topic I was on... :laugh5:
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. :)
Post Reply

Return to “Fun & Jokes”