Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

That one's gone over my head Cathy..... Sorry.....

[Cathy]

It’s for people that don’t like having to process their shopping thru the self-serve till. They prefer to have a check-out operator do it for them .
Maybe the self-serve till hasn’t reached Barlick yet.

[Big Kev]

It’s for people that don’t like having to process their shopping thru the self-serve till. They prefer to have a check-out operator do it for them .
Maybe the self-serve till hasn’t reached Barlick yet.

The Co op has them. I choose not to use them as I don't work there either

[Stanley]

I do the same as both of you, I won't do self serve. However I have never equated it with working there but I can see why...

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

I'm working on an idea for a chain of Elvis themed steak houses. It's for people who love meat tender.

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

Environmental lawn mower.

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[Cathy]

[Stanley]

When I first started farming at Harrod's Farm we kept hens in huts with wire netting cages on the end about the same size as the floor plan of the hen hut. Every morning on my way back from taking the milk down to the stand I used to drag the huts forward enough to put the hens on fresh grass and open the bob hole to let them out. Same principle but on a larger square!

[Big Kev]

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[Stanley]

Oh, so true and it isn't funny. Most of the gardens in East Hill Street are paved and I have the only large section of soil so guess what!

Here's another kind of joke.....

[Big Kev]

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[plaques]

Whoah Black Betty,

Totally lost on this. Unless its a play on words Lam-a Bam the words used in the song 'Black Betty'

No wonder I failed my 11+.

[Tripps]

Oh - well spotted by someone.

Totally lost on this.

Don't believe it for a minute. . .

Reaches for his copy of "The Land Where The Blues Began" by Alan Lomax.

[Big Kev]

Whoah Black Betty,

Totally lost on this. Unless its a play on words Lam-a Bam the words used in the song 'Black Betty'

No wonder I failed my 11+.

[Tripps]

Here's the real Ram Jam

[Big Kev]

Here's the real Ram Jam

I've passed the sign for it many times but never been in.

[Tripps]

've passed the sign for it many times but never been in.

Me too. At least we know where the name comes from now though.

That Turpin character seems to have got around a bit didn't he?

PS I was going to show a picture of The Pack Horse pub in Failsworth, which is 18th Century and has a set of steps to get on your horse "actually used by Dick Turpin on his ride to York". Everyone local knew that. We used to mount imaginary horses on the way home from the matinee at the Pop.

No one paused to wonder why he went via Manchester on his historic gallop from London to York.

Anyway - its now two houses with a security company between them - so too sad to post the photo.

[Stanley]

All this thread went completely over my head except for the fact that I remember the Ram Jam Inn on North Road.
Does this mean I am a sad old git?

[Tripps]

This was a puzzle at first -then I tried it with a cockney accent.
Remember that? It's how Londoners used to speak once upon a time.


I was in an East End butchers and they sell sausages made from pandas.
I know this because the lady in front of me asked for two .