Old fashioned clean jokes

[chinatyke]

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name...

[Stanley]

I'll inform the media China.....

[Big Kev]

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name...

[Big Kev]

Saw Elivis Presley in B&Q yesterday, returned a sander...

[PanBiker]

[Stanley]

"Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show. ".

[Tizer]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

Schoolboy humour, I know but it made me laugh

Screenshot_20210501-182600_Metal Pro.jpg

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

A Jewish joke...
Feinstein returned home from a business trip to discover that his wife had cheated on him
“Who was it?” he roared. “That bastard Wolf?”
“No,” replied his wife. “It wasn’t Wolf.”
“Was it Green, that creep?”
“No, it wasn’t him.”
“I know — it must have been that idiot Sherman.”
“No, it wasn’t Sherman, either.”
Feinstein was furious. “Whatsa matter?” he cried. “None of my friends is good enough for you?”

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

I enjoyed the bit on Have I Got News For You about going naked becoming more popular during lockdown. They said the naturist society had reported ` a doubling of members'.

[Stanley]

I missed that. Thanks Peter!

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

The Pope arrives in Heaven where St.Peter awaits him. St.Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: I am the Pope.
St.Peter: Who? There’s no such name in my book.
The Pope: I’m the representative of God on Earth.
St.Peter: Does God have a representative? He didn’t tell me.
The Pope: But I am the leader of the Catholic Church.
St.Peter: The Catholic Church.... never heard of it.... wait, I’ll check with the boss.
St.Peter walks away through Heaven’s Gate to talk to God.
St.Peter: There’s a dude standing outside who claims he’s your representative on Earth.
God: I don’t have a representative on Earth, at last, not that I know of.... wait, I’ll ask Jesus.
(yells for Jesus)
Jesus: Yes Father, what’s up?
God and St.Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: I’ll go outside and have a little chat with the fellow.
Ten minutes pass and Jesus re-enters the room, laughing out loud. St.Peter asks Jesus why he’s laughing.
Jesus: Remember that fishing club I started 2000 years ago?

It still exists!

[Stanley]

I like it....
I remember my Bible Cathy, "I shall make you fishers of men".
Very clever.

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

20210513_111743.jpg

[Big Kev]

Screenshot_20210513-161659_Metal Pro.jpg

[Marilyn]

Hubby and I have this conversation often...

[Stanley]