WHAT ATTRACTED YOUR ATTENTION TODAY?

[Stanley]

Just had mail from Margaret. There's a huge bush fire burning to the East of Perth and the wind is blowing the smoke over the city. Two of Margaret's friends have lost their horse properties to the fire. (LINK)

[Cathy]

Yes the fires have been on our news, not good.
Last week we had an awful fire in our Adelaide Hills. 300 Firefighters plus rain, but homes were still lost . Windy conditions meant that it was very hard to contain. We had some smoke and sore eyes.

[Wendyf]

Call me a heartless cynic but good old Captain Tom went on a family holiday to Barbados on 18th December.... family holiday?? Barbados?? Taking a fragile 100 year old on a long flight?? Anyone else had a family holiday recently?

[Stanley]

Not at all Wendy. I'm afraid I get quite cynical about things like this but then tell myself it's not cynicism, it's realism! Of course you're right. You should shield and isolate, not fly to Bermuda....

[Wendyf]

It's all ok, he is a hero and the trip was paid for by British Airways. Celebs are supporting him in droves....

[Stanley]

I've just been listening to a woman who speaks for the gaming industry defending the indefensible. Why can't we make spin and hyperbole like this a crime? Cringe-worthy....

[Tizer]

Exactly the same obfuscation from the Klarna representative on the radio this morning.

[Stanley]

Yes I heard that as well. It's a formula that's become accepted, at least on the BBC. The interviewee thanks the presenter for being allowed on air and then ignores the opening question to deliver the rehearsed spiel 'explaining' how everything is kosher. I long to hear someone say 'But this is PR crap!'.

[Bodger]

An interesting combination https://www.practicalmachinist.com/vb/a ... rk-211613/

[Stanley]

That principle, using a governed engine to regulate something like a water wheel that couldn't be easily governed is well known and was very common in the textile industry. Glass Houses Mill at Pately Bridge used an oil engine in conjunction with the water wheel. In the case of electricity generation it was vital of course for maintaining frequency.

[Stanley]

I've just been on the site of Abtec Abrasives trying to buy £40 worth of grinding wheels. I went through verifying the payment with Paypal, carefully checked the order and ticked the funny little boxes about not wanting offers etc. Then clicked confirm order. Nothing happened. How do they expect to sell stuff if the site doesn't work?
Or, and here's a disturbing thought, was it a scam site?
My head hurts.....

[Big Kev]

Log in to your PayPal account and see if the money has been taken.

[Stanley]

Just did that, thanks for steering me. No activity since December.....

[PanBiker]

Are there funds in the PayPal account or do you just use it for processing with a credit or debit card?

[Big Kev]

Forgot about that one Ian. You might want to log into your bank account and check the balance there if you used a card.

[Stanley]

Too complicated for this bear of little brain. Stop making me feel insecure!

[chinatyke]

Received from a friend, I'm not guaranteeing the story's veracity* but it is very funny:

A great story taken from a recent copy of The Yorkshire Herald.

Buttock Tattoo Terror Lands Rotherham Pair In Hospital.

A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client after what started out as a routine inking session left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment.


Furious film fan and part-time plus-size XXXL model Tracey Munter (23), had visited the 'Ink It Good' Tattoo Emporium in Wellgate, Yorkshire last week, to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur.

Tattooist Jason Burns takes up the story. "It was a big job in more ways than one" he told us. "I'd just lit up a rollie and was finishing off a centurion's helmet. It's delicate, close up work. Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in the buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston's whip, and a hissing sound - more of a whoosh than a rasp - and before I know what's happening, there's a flame shooting from her arse to my fag and my beards gone up like an Aussie bush fire."


Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel. The flames had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong which was smoking like a cheap firework.


"To be honest", said Jason, "I didn't even realise she was wearing one. You'd need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I'd have been none the wiser."


Jason and Tracey were taken to Rotherham District Hospital accident and emergency department where they were treated for minor burns and shock. Both are adamant that the other is to blame.


"I'm furious" said Jason, "I've got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrow isn't there anymore. I don't know about Ben Hur - Gone With The Wind would be more appropriate. You don't just let rip in someone's face like that. It's dangerous."


But Tracey remains both angry and unrepentant; "I'm still in agony," she said, "and Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn't have had a fag on the go when he's doing close up work, there's no way I'd guff on purpose. He'd had me on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that I give him my five-second warning, and I'd have done the same for Jason, but I didn't get the chance- it just quietly crept out."


Ted Walters from the South Yorkshire Fire and Rescue service wasn't surprised when we asked him to comment on what had happened. "People just don't appreciate the dangers," he told us, "We get more call-outs to flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days now that people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan: 'Flame 'n fart - keep 'em apart'. Anyone engaging in an arse-inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future. On behalf of the entire Fire and Rescue service, we wish them both a swift recovery."

You couldn't make it up! Or perhaps someone did!

*There is a link to the story in the Rotherham Bugle here

[Marilyn]

That is hilarious!

[Cathy]

Charming... Not!
I think it’s made up.

[Stanley]

Looking at the web site and noting 'The Best of the Best' I agree with you Cathy. Definitely a work of fiction.

[Marilyn]

I still think it is funny...
It was well written. I “got the visual”...

[Tizer]

I've just been on the site of Abtec Abrasives trying to buy £40 worth of grinding wheels. I went through verifying the payment with Paypal, carefully checked the order and ticked the funny little boxes about not wanting offers etc. Then clicked confirm order. Nothing happened. How do they expect to sell stuff if the site doesn't work?
Or, and here's a disturbing thought, was it a scam site? My head hurts.....

Stanley, they look like an honest and helpful business. Their web site has this under the payments FAQs:
My payment hasn’t gone through, what do I do?
Please call us on Freephone UK: 0800 027 1928 UK: 01945 585500 International: +44 1945 585500 with your card details to pay over the phone. Our opening hours are: 8.30 am - 5.30 pm (UK time). Monday – Friday, closed weekends and bank holidays.

If you're still unsure you could call them and ask if they've had the order and payment, and if not you could pay over the phone.

I had a couple of failures recently which I found were due to the web sites using advertising-type pop-up software which was being stopped by my ad blocker. Once I white listed them in my Adblock Plus add-on in Firefox they were OK (the sites can be switched back to block afterwards if necessary). It's stupid because the companies running the web sites prevent their customers using it, which is the last thing a sales business should be doing. They didn't even flag up the usual `You are using an ad blocker' warning like we see on some of the newspaper web sites for example. One was the Trespass clothing web site which failed during the payment process. The other was the government web site Deposit Protection Service which I need to use to help one of my relatives set up new tenancies for her buy-to-let. It had been OK in the, past when I set up the deposit for her but in the meantime they've altered the site and it wouldn't even log me in. What made that even worse is that there are no contact details visible on the site until you are logged in! The only way to contact them was to log in. Fortunately I worked out it was due to the ad blocker.

[Tripps]

If you check out the Rotheram Bugle website there is a clue as to the veracity.

We decided to launch The Rotherham Bugle after identifying a fundamental problem with other news based media covering the South Yorkshire area – they are restricted by a requirement that they stick to reporting on things that actually happened. And here’s the problem with that – what actually happened tends to be boring.

And so from the very start, we made an editorial decision to give facts a back seat. Yes, you may find a grain of truth hidden away somewhere, but it’s more by accident than design. If you do find something that’s true, don’t judge us too harshly. Anyone can make mistakes.

[PanBiker]

Not to bring down the tone but I seem to remember from my youth that if you light them through Levi jeans you get a wonderful aroma of fresh toast.

[Stanley]

Thanks for that Peter. I rang them and spoke to a very nice lady who sorted everything out, agreed that their web site was unreliable and was very interested when I pointed out that their postal charges didn't make sense either. She has just rung me back to say the card was refused. I got her to read the details back to me and she had got the number wrong, she agreed it was her fault and all is well now. All a bit happy go lucky....
David, I didn't go any further into the Bugle web site than the article about Brenda having a show down with her daughter in law. So Cathy was right in the first place.