Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

What's a life alert button...... ?

[Cathy]

A Life Alert Button is personal medical alert. They are sometimes worn as watches, but for the elderly they are normally pendants.
Some alert family first, if no answer an Ambulance is automatically called. You probably have them under a different name.

[Stanley]

I shall enquire..... Thanks Cathy!

[Tizer]

Examples...
Age UK
NHS

I suggest you ask around locally and get some word of mouth recommendations.

[Big Kev]

Dad joke alert...



The large pane of glass fell out of my front window & smashed, I called a glazier & he replaced it. Two days later the glass fell out again so I called the glazier back. While he was replacing the glass again I asked him why my glass keeps falling out he said “its quite common around here it’s down to an animal going round eating the linseed oil in the bonding that holds the glass in place”,
I said “an animal? what kind of animal?”

he said “its a cat..........a putty cat

[Stanley]

Oh dear..... Have you heard the one about the man whose windows fell out because he couldn't tell Stork from Putty?

[Cathy]

Stanley did you enquire re Tizers suggestions for Life Alert Buttons?

[Stanley]

Not yet Cathy......

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Tizer]

That's a good trick Cathy, worth remembering!

[Stanley]

A good one Cathy!

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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You know who you are… hehe

[Stanley]

I know the feeling Cathy!

[Big Kev]

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[Stanley]

Black humour.......



So is this.....

[Tizer]

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

Very clever Cathy!

[Tizer]

A clip from a BBC News story this morning about powerful rare earth magnets. I guess it was meant to be serious but the man looks like he's spent too much time with his magnets...