Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

Funnily enough I got that one straight away Kev....

[Cathy]

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[Big Kev]

[Big Kev]

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING!!
The AA have warned that anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets/sleeping bag, extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves, 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, spare battery, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads.
I looked a right idiot on the bus this morning!

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

[Tizer]

That's a clever one Cathy!

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[Stanley]

[Cathy]

Tizer, you might need to explain your last joke to me.

[Tizer]

Hi Cathy, perhaps you're not familiar with Gary Larson's cartoons. They're always zany but clever and I've always enjoyed them. The one above can be a joke on the palaeontologists who find `fossil footprints' and decipher all sorts of information from them. But it can also be seen as a mammoth getting it's own back on the humans who are hunting the mammoths. Other people might have their own interpretations! He often does one based on cows and I like this one below...

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[Cathy]

Tize, I’m not aware of Gary Larson, so not quite getting the joke meaning.
Never mind, plenty on here will

[Stanley]

"Tize, I’m not aware of Gary Larson,"
Neither am I Cathy but I get the joke.....

[Gloria]

I just fell asleep with my mouth open at work and woke up to find someone had put a teabag in it. I hate being treated like a mug!

[Tizer]

That's a good one Gloria!

"Tize, I’m not aware of Gary Larson,"
Neither am I Cathy but I get the joke.....

I'm sad to hear neither of you were aware of his cartoons. He was born in Seattle and his cartoons have been published since 1976 and he has millions of fans worldwide. Wikipedia

[Big Kev]

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a wellness check up.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

More than a hint of truth in that one Cathy, it's why I refuse to use self service check outs....