OneGuyFromBarlick

You lot make me cry..... But that's good. Thanks for caring.

Oh Stanley, keep your chin up. XX

Cathy wrote:Hang in there Stanley.
Janet has been/is creating more memories and even deeper connectedness for all of you.
Love to you all.

Moh wrote:Thinking of you all xx

Ditto Stanley. A big hug from our family to you and yours. You're in our thoughts.

Thanks again to all of you. News is scarce at the moment, we are all in shock I think. The only good thing is that we think we can see an end to the suffering....

We were all hoping the op would buy her more time, Stanley...

All our thoughts are with you Comrade. Colin

You poor man, poor family. At least her family is around her. Thinking of you all all the time.
Deepest regards
Sue

Our thoughts are with you Stanley. Be strong. Lots of love. Tizer & Mrs Tiz. xxx

Our thoughts are with you and your family Stanley.

The news this morning is that Janet has a long day at the hospital, scans, radiation and the final fitting of the mask that will be used to irradiate her brain. The pain relief is working, she is coping with the intensive radiation of her spine but apart from being a bit unsteady on her feet is relatively fine. In short, she's fighting like a little tiger!
The bad news is that a good friend of mine and the daughters from their childhood has reported that he has been diagnosed with what looks like terminal cancer of the prostate. It has invaded his bones. As Margaret commented this morning, BUGGER!!
The support mails flood in and I am responding to all of them, comms secretary is proving to be a full time job....
Thanks to all of you, keep cheering her on, she knows about you....

Stanley wrote:In short, she's fighting like a little tiger!

That's because she inherited the tiger gene from you! Give her our love. As I'm sure she's heard you say many times...onwards and upwards.

The latest update I have from Susan details a heavy programme of radiation but also contained the key phrase "Janet seems quietly accepting and positive about her choices of care.". In other words she has more information about time scales and is planning accordingly. She is lucid, in control and still managing the project like a good general marshalling his troops. I am so proud of her.....
Muthomi visited last night for tea and gave me a very good report of the atmosphere in the family. It's quite amazing how they are all responding to Janet's needs and accepting her ground rules. Her last project is running like a well oiled machine and is dead on course!
I shy away from the Tiger Gene theory Tiz even though there is some truth in it. We are lucky enough to be the inheritors of our genes, as I said yesterday, we stand on the shoulders of giants!

Ups and downs, on the whole Janet is standing up to the treatment but it ain't easy! She had a bad night last night..... I marvel at my daughters, somewhere, somehow, Vera and I did a good job!

Same as yesterday, a rough night. It's puzzling Susan and so she has called in Janet's dedicated hospice nurse to see what she thinks about this happening at night. Almost the end of the back radiation, then ten days rest and forward into the other course on her brain and spine. It's crual but necessary I suppose. Very hard on me but even more on those closer to her.....
There must be thousands like Janet going through this and they are hidden from sight........

All pain is worse at night, Stanley. When you are lying alone with it at 3am...pain is worse.
I used to stand at the breakfast bar reading a book ( many nights) after the bad break in my arm and shoulder. It was the only way I could get distraction from the pain without waking the whole household. During the day there are other distractions, but at night, the pain is very personal.
It could be a postural thing, and she may do better in a recliner chair at night than in a bed?

I'm going to throw another into the mix. About 3 weeks ago my mother-in-law, aged 87, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Given that she's been 'watching the lump for a while to see if it grows', there have been many tests and scans. On Tuesday she finally sees the surgeon to start a treatment plan. (The breast lump is not the only problem).

We were all very surprised that one daughter appeared to be taking a sideline approach. On Wednesday she told us all that she also had a cancer diagnosis; it looks like her non-Hodgkin's lymphoma has returned. She celebrated her 60th birthday yesterday having a biopsy. Next week is bone marrow tests.

Life is certainly not kind.

Liz...a "treatment" plan at 87 years of age? Really?!
( how do you feel about that?)
Personally, I would just leave things be. ( but we all have a view, and I don't mean to press my own on anyone)

Maz, I agree with you, but it's not my Mum. There are 4 of them that need to agree what happens. I will keep you posted.

Liz, I agree with Maz. When my mum was in her 80s and having a bad time with heart attacks and strokes she was seen by a doctor who examined her more generally and found a lump on her breast. Next thing was the hospital wanted her in for investigations etc. We said no, she was near death anyway. She couldn't move on her own, had great difficulty breathing and the thought of cancer too made her frightened and anxious. She died shortly afterwards. They shouldn't have mentioned the lump, let alone tried to take action on it.

When Dad was 94 he was diagnosed with skin cancer. Dad was too ill generally to take it in, he never made the visits to the specialist, dying before the third cancelled appointment. However we had been advised that dad should not have treatment as it would probably shorten his life. But then he was 94. This was October before his birthday in February. In the end It was old age and a chest infection that caused his death.

Janet rang me yesterday to reassure me she is OK! Typical! We had a good conversation and she has everything in place including a 'Diamond Nurse' (Equivalent of Macmillan here) and no matter what happens she stays at home. She was a bit spaced out because of the opiates but was lucid and totally in control. She's very clear about her aims and objectives and is making sure everyone does it her way! Wonderful brave woman.....

I bet it was good to speak to her. She will be as concerned about how you are feeling as you are about her. Yes a brave lady, be proud of her.we had a friend who recently died of ovarian cancer after a long struggle with the disease. Few knew how ill she was. She bravely tried every new treatment, not for herself but for how the results would benefit others. She died from a heart attack brought on by the numerous chemotherapy treatments, but she died as the most positive person I have ever known. She did a wonderful job preparing her husband and family for the final outcome. Janet is of the same spirit. I admire them both

You've got the picture exactly Sue. Yes, she is wonderful. Totally dedicated to giving her children as much preparation as possible. By the way, I got the hospice care nurse wrong, they are called Silver Chain nurses. She's on another round of appointments and treatments as I write....

As I write Janet is having more blood tests and radiation on her spine. They have said they want to do one more treatment on her spine tomorrow and then hopefully she will have a rest for ten days before moving into more radiation of her brain and central nervous system. Susan says that Janet is OK with the extra treatment, it is supportable. It's terribly wearing just watching the poor woman under attack like this, all right it's the reality of the situation but we could all do without it.
One thing I realise, as I walked round Barlick this morning on our regular morning inspection I thought about Janet. She would give her eye teeth to be able to do it with me so I have to count my blessings. A good lesson but a hard way to learn it.

How long has Janet been away from Barlick Stanley.
Maybe you could video one of your walks and send it to her.