OneGuyFromBarlick

The Universe is made up of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

You can laugh but I was playing hell with my work mate Jack one day because he had his hearing aid turned off. He said he couldn't switch it on because the battery was going and he was saving it for Coronation Street when he got home......

That's cruel Cathy! Who'd be a chocolate Easter Bunny!

Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish

A group of five Jewish women are eating lunch in a busy cafe. Nervously, their waiter approaches the table. “Ladies,” he says. “Is anything okay?”

Well nearly clean, depends how broad minded you are.

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I'm afraid it's beginning to feel like that Kev.....

i like that one Kev.

plaques wrote: ↑14 Apr 2020, 17:00 i like that one Kev.

A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, “God, what is a million years to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.”
The man asks, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me.”
The man asks, “So God, can I have a million dollars?”
And God replies, “In a second.”

So that’s how it works

Morning Cathy.... Yup, I think so! That's why you and I aren't millionaires.