Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints!"
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?"
(Sorry about that..... )
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 21 Jun 2021, 12:16
by Big Kev
ABSOLUTELY FUMING!!!
Just been asked by a group of kids outside the co- op if I would get them 20 Richmonds. Stupidly I agreed and got them a packet, handed them over and you should have seen the grief I got off them after it!! Cheeky little sods Told them next time you can get your own bloody sausages!!!!!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 22 Jun 2021, 02:14
by Stanley
Nice one Kev.....
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 22 Jun 2021, 07:59
by plaques
Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Aldi.
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous,
almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a
light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a
sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be
interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
► Show Spoiler
"What kind of beer you got?”
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 22 Jun 2021, 08:22
by Big Kev
plaques wrote: ↑22 Jun 2021, 07:59
Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Aldi.
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous,
almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a
light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a
sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be
interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
► Show Spoiler
"What kind of beer you got?”
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 23 Jun 2021, 03:23
by Stanley
I second Kev, a good one.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 23 Jun 2021, 08:03
by plaques
If we get knocked out of the football we can always blame the EU.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 23 Jun 2021, 10:20
by Tripps
Tacos advert.jpg
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 23 Jun 2021, 22:34
by Cathy
4C3754E6-6829-49C9-A83D-BB8CB9A5F00D.png
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 24 Jun 2021, 01:56
by Stanley
Three good ones! Thank you....
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 24 Jun 2021, 08:19
by plaques
Global Warming.jpg
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 24 Jun 2021, 09:30
by Cathy
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 25 Jun 2021, 03:00
by Stanley
I like it....
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 25 Jun 2021, 11:56
by plaques
From the Government No10 release.
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is all right."
"No, I must die in peace" he said,
"I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 26 Jun 2021, 02:59
by Stanley
That's funny? More like macabre for me. Sorry Ken.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 26 Jun 2021, 05:28
by Cathy
3AAF4516-997F-43A2-A81C-A29F5B73869A.png
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 26 Jun 2021, 07:50
by Stanley
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 29 Jun 2021, 04:18
by Cathy
6057EF87-7D01-4921-9382-2D3815385CA7.png
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 29 Jun 2021, 04:25
by Stanley
I like that one Cathy!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 30 Jun 2021, 03:34
by Stanley
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 02 Jul 2021, 12:16
by Cathy
There was a bit of confusion at the shop this morning.
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”
I made a mental note to complain about security running amok, but I did just as the cashier had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that the cashier was referring to my credit card.
I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 03 Jul 2021, 03:07
by Stanley
Nice one Cathy...
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 03 Jul 2021, 12:14
by Big Kev
This does make me laugh and so close to the truth
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Posted: 04 Jul 2021, 03:10
by Stanley
It was close to the truth 60 years ago as well, that's why I hated going there while tramping. If they didn't know you any contact was viewed with suspicion especially if you had a Northern accent.
)
Told them next time you can get your own bloody sausages!!!!!
