THE FLATLEY DRYER

[Stanley]

The red Fulvia at my mate Roger Perry's house at Braiseworth near Eye in Suffolk in 1984. Note that the other cars are Lancias as well, this was Lancia central! I was down there to do a little job for Roger, rebuilding the Ferrari Dino engine from his Stratos. The workshop manual was for a different engine and was in Italian so I was working under difficulties! However, all went well and Roger was able to go off to the Stratos owners jolly at I think it was Silverstone... The Stratos was a mean machine....



Roger's Stratos parked in Brook Street when he visited me in 1980. I can't remember who the other Lancia belonged to.



Roger did this pic of me in 1984 as I was rebuilding the engine after a crankshaft regrind. If I remember right, this version of the Dino poked out over 400hp, a serious machine. I got it back in the motor in time to test it early one morning and for Roger to go off on his jolly. I didn't take it past 100mph in third gear because it frightened me to death!

[Stanley]

By 1986 the Red Fulvia had done another 60,000 miles on top of the 160,000 the engine and gearbox from Mrs Fulvia had done when it was transferred to this one. It was still perfect and burning no oil. Bertoni had done a good job balancing it! However, one day when I braked the pedal moved back towards me, a symptom very familiar to Fulvia owners! It meant that the sub-frame that carried the engine and front suspension unit had parted company with the shell. I knew where there was another interesting car so I bought it and advertised the Fulvia for sale at £200. It was snapped up by two students at the university in Leeds and I made them sign a receipt that indicated that I didn't consider the car roadworthy, I told them about the sub-frame but it didn't seem to bother them! So I ceased to be a Lancia driver. With all its faults, the Fulvia was the best driver's car I ever owned. Its chief virtue was the precision of its steering, nothing cornered like a Fulvia largely because of the De Dion front suspension with one transverse leaf spring over the top of the engine. The front wheels were always parallel and vertical. It was a sad day. I was left with the original low mileage 1.3 engine. Only thing I ever regretted was that I sold it so fast I forgot to swap the wood and alloy steering wheel for the black plasic one. It would have made a lovely wall hanging ornament....

[Stanley]

The Ford Granada Ghia at Ellenroad in 1991. This was the successor to the red Fulvia. I bought it for £1000 from a policeman who had been put on duties where his wife would be driving this around as her personal transport. For some reason he didn't want this to happen. He'd spent a lot of money on it and it was in perfect condition. I remember the first thing I did was to have it professionally valeted! It had the three lire V6 of course but fuel consumption wasn't a problem as I was on local authority mileage rates as part of my job as director at Ellenroad. Automatic, supremely comfortable and you could drive it all day without feeling tired. The purists will note that it is a bit high on the springs at the front end. I got replacement coil springs from Rossendale Road Springs and I think they got them a bit wrong. It took a few months for them to settle down to a proper ride height. Automatic of course, the first I have ever driven and I soon got used to it!

[David Whipp]

Three lire sounds extremely good value for an engine...!

[Tizer]

Must have been another Italian engine!

In the late 1970s one of Mrs Tiz's teacher friends was a lady in her 50s whose husband was company secretary for Penguin books. They were not the types that you'd expect to have fancy or fast cars but in fact in they had a soft spot for Italian cars and drove a much cherished Lancia Flaminia saloon.

[Stanley]

Lancias were a wonderfully innovative firm. On one of their engines the spark plugs were inside the rocker gallery where they were bathed in oil. You knew when the oil needed changing because the engine started misfiring due to the carbon in the oil. The V4 1.3 in the Fulvia was the last true Lancia engine, all the later ones were Fiat of course. It was first designed in 1928 and was a wonderful little engine. The rocker gear was like the inside of a watch!

The Granada Ghia lasted me until about 1989 when I was offered £400 for it by a classic car enthusiast. I sold it to him and bought a second-hand Mazda pick-up.



I paid £800 for it and it was probably the most trouble-free motor I ever owned. The engine ran like silk, the gear box was good and apart from servicing it never had a repair. I was moving a lot of tackle around at the time as I was up to my oxters in engineering on the Whitelees and Ellenroad engines. In the end the chassis rusted so badly it wasn't going to pass the MOT so I gave it to a friend in Rochdale who was starting his own haulage business, his first company car! He did some remedial welding and ran it for years afterwards.
I like pick-ups. You always come home with something in the back, a good stone flag or some logs.... At the time when Mrs Mazda gave up the ghost I was short of readies, I had spent too much money travelling and living with strange women, so I had a word with my mate John Ingoe for whom I was working at the time....
[Later... I realised on my walk that I'd missed a motor out of the list, after the red Fulvia and before the Granada...]

[David Whipp]

Too much suspense in this story!

[Stanley]

So many of us could write it! Cars are the next biggest purchase after houses... I remembered a story about the pick-up. When I lived at Addingham I took my three terriers out for a run on Beamsley Beacon and we were joined by a magnificent, but very bedraggled, Labrador. It had a great time with my dogs and when we got back to the truck it jumped up into the back and refused to come out. I looked at its collar and there was a telephone number so I drove to my friends Chris and John Martinez at Ilkley and got John to ring the number. Meanwhile, the Labrador wouldn't leave me, it sat on my left up against my leg wherever I went. John came back and said that he'd contacted the owner and they would be grateful if I took the dog back so I asked John where 'back' was. His face fell, he had forgotten to ask! Turned out that it lived at a big converted farm house 200 yards from where the truck was parked so I went back to Beamsley and drove down the drive. It was Xmas time and all the trees round the house were festooned with lights so I knew I was close to money! I knocked on the door and a beautiful woman in a long evening dress opened the door and said she’d get her husband. He came out in the yard and thanked me for bringing the dog back, I didn't tell him I'd virtually kidnapped it off his doorstep! He said that the dog did this regularly, it ran away from him when he walked it in the morning, that day it had been away all day. During all this, the dog was welded to my left leg and looking up at me. The man asked me if I drank whisky, he wanted to give me a reward. I told him yes, but I preferred single malt, he said they hadn't got any of that but went into the house and came back with a LITRE bottle of Bells. The woman called the dog and it went to her but as I was leaving I offered the man a bit of advice, all the time we had been stood there he had never acknowledged the dog and I told him it might be a good thing to speak to it every now and again. I left thinking what a shame it was that such a magnificent animal had to live with such a pillock...

[Tizer]

A change of take here but don't let me distract you if you still have more car stories!

Mrs Tiz has her mum's diaries back into the 1950s and she's been transcribing some of the information. In 1958 she was working part-time as a lecturer and dad was working at Thomas Hedley's soap factory in the north-east. She records how she and dad bought a `Hoovermatic' vacuum cleaner, the first they'd had. The man delivered it during the week and mum set to vacuuming the house. Dad was impressed and he vacuumed the house again on the weekend. Mum couldn't resist giving it a third vacuuming on the Monday! Wasn't it exciting in those days when you got something that made life so much easier!

There's a story about Mrs Tiz's grandparents in the 1930s, probably when they were living in Manchester and had little money to spend. A salesman came to the house during the week when grandad was at work and showed grandma the cleaner. She showed interest and the salesman `talked her' into keeping it for a while to try it out. She knew she couldn't afford it but she vacuumed the house until it was spotless and when the man returned told him she'd decided it wasn't for her! Who conned who?

[Stanley]

My mother had a Hoover before the war. During the war my dad took it to General Gas to clean out the inside of large flare casings they were making for the war effort. She never got it back! After the war a Servis Electric Washing Machine was delivered at Napier Road and mother was ecstatic, I think she washed everything in the house. When Father came home it transpired that it wasn't for her, he had got it for a mate. Words ensued and a few weeks later mother got her own washer! Another Servis. I think the original firm at Darlaston was Wilkins.



The departure of the red Fulvia was triggered by two things, the sub frame breaking and news from my mates at the New Garage at Barrowford that they knew of a Vauxhall Viva that could be bought for £100 because the engine had been run without oil and was totally buggered. The body was in good order and it had a clean interior so I bought it and told the lads to get a short engine for it from Brierleys at Burnley. A 'short engine' was a totally rebuilt engine but with no accessories on it, the bare engine. The one they got had been bored out I think, it was certainly very lively! While the lads had it they fitted a new clutch, front discs and generally went through it. It passed its MOT easily and I had a very tidy little car. As soon as it was on the road, the Fulvia went.
The Viva was Vauxhall's answer to the Ford Anglia, a bog standard family saloon, no frills and all old technology. No worse for that! Shortly after I got it I was going to Ellenroad one morning and on the long uphill stretch on the Hanging Bridge Road I overtook a brand new BMW that was smoking a bit. I bet that car went back to the dealer the same morning! It was very nippy, gave no trouble and the only reason it went was because I found the Granada.
At that time Margaret, my eldest daughter, had borrowed the deposit on a house from me and bought a house in Colne. She needed transport so I gave her the Viva and she ran it for years before selling it for a lot more than it cost me and giving me the money! It never gave her any trouble and she loved it. Lots to be said for the old bog standard motors before technology spoiled them.

[chinatyke]

Lots to be said for the old bog standard motors before technology spoiled them.

Or technology improved them beyond recognition. Give me today's motors anytime.

[David Whipp]

Mention of daughters reminds me of a couple of car anecdotes, which I suspect are more about 'old' not 'new' technology...

When my oldest daughter was a youngster, during the 1980's, we often holidayed in Pembrokeshire near Tenby. My own transport was a mini van by that time; not well suited to a family holiday. My dad leant me his pride and joy Austin Princess, which was probably getting a bit long in the tooth. We used to set off in the early hours to miss the worst of the traffic. One year, we got on to the M6 only for the alternator to fail. The good news was that we'd got my dad's AA card as well as his car... the bad news was waiting several hours on the car park at Charnock Richard whilst the AA got a new alternator for us.

In 1985, equipped with my own AA membership, but once more driving dad's Austin Princess, we returned to our favourite stretch of the Pembrokeshire coastline on our favoured holiday week at Spring Bank. It was just after the county council elections of that year where our group had gained the balance of power at county hall. A key meeting of the Policy and Resources Committee was scheduled in the middle of our holiday week; my vote was needed at Preston...

Leaving family holidaying, I bombed up the M6, spent an hour or more at the meeting and then bombed back down... only for the cylinder head to crack somewhere in South Wales. Relayed back to our holiday home, the next couple of days was spent locating a decent cylinder head at a local scrap yard and getting it fitted. I recall that the car repair cost more than the holiday...

[chinatyke]

Cars were horrendous in the seventies. Everyone knew that when you bought a new mini for example you had to waterproof the distributor which was mounted where it would always get wet. Why design-in faults, was it to give Red Ken's workers an extra tea break? Unreliability became a watchword for Made in Britain. Why did we do it?

[Stanley]

All these horror stories! Give me an old motor that I can repair myself.... I never had any problems I couldn't fix.

Back to Rochdale and I have just given the Mazda pick-up to my mate. I was skint at the time so my mate John Ingoe bought me a motor but didn't tell me what it was until we went to pick it up.



It was an ex Wirral Council diesel Ford. Basically in good nick but the gearbox packed up on me so I had to fit an exchange box. I looked after it well, over the years I fitted new brake discs, shockers and anything else that it needed. Always passed the test, engine was superb, never burned any oil and it would tram on at 70mph on the motorway all day. After a year or two it got a bit shabby so I paid Peter Thompson to help me rub it down, give it two coats of undercoat and brush paint it with Tekaloid JCB Yellow. A good heavy coat and it looked splendid. I forget how long I ran it or how many miles but it was a lot. Eventually it started to show its age and one morning in 2001 I saw a car parked at the end of Wellhouse Road with a for sale sticker on it.....

[Stanley]

Can't leave the Yellow Shed without recalling this incident. At the time I had Joe, a rescue Lurcher who had been abused as a lad, I never could civilise him and in the end took him back. John Clayton and I were fossicking on Blacko Hill Side and we visited Blacko Tower Farm. When we went in for a cup of tea I left Joe in the van, so we have this pic, The Lurcher's Revenge! Half a roll of gaffer tape got things back in place.



In 2001 I was out on my early morning walk down to victory Park and saw this Astra parked at the end of Wellhouse Road near the gasworks with a sign in the window that said it was for sale for £600. There was an address so I popped a note through the door. I didn't hear anything for a couple of days but then a bloke called round at East Hill Street. It was the owner, he said he had a previous offer but the bloke had cocked up so the motor was mine if I wanted it. It was a clean motor, 100,000 miles on the clock but a full service history so I bit his hand off. That triggered the trip up to the breaker's yard at Salterforth with the shed and I got £20 for it.
I gave the Astra to Tim at Gott's garage and told him to give it a complete service and do anything to it that it needed. This model [and the cavalier before it, virtually the same car] had a fault with the bottom link in the front suspension so two new links fitted. Then down to the tyre doctor for a new exhaust and four new Michelin Tyres and for £400 I had a perfect motor. It only had one fault all the time I ran it, a pinhole in the top hose let the water out and it blew the head gasket, a common fault with this engine. Back to Tim's and he put a new gasket and hoses on for £40.
I had some happy, trouble free miles with the Astra. Big Jack the white lurcher rode for miles in the back, sat there like Lord Muck, wedged into a corner and watching the traffic, he loved riding!
In 2007, after six years with the Astra it was still a tidy motor but I realised two things, I was 71 and whilst still a good driver, my reactions were slower and I was frightened of traffic, there were so many bad drivers on the road. I also realised that having the Astra parked in the back street was costing me over £20 a week. I decided that my driving days were over and advertised the car. My daughters were delighted because they had had experience of another member of the family driving long after he was capable. I asked £700 for the motor and got an immediate acceptance. The bloke went off promising to come back the following day, A Monday, with the readies. On Monday morning the bin wagon backed into the Astra and broke the rear light cluster and crumpled the housing. A quick phone call to the buyer and another to the Council!
The man from Zurich, the Council's insurer came round and asked me to get two estimates for the minor repair. I was astounded to get two quotes, One for £950 and one for £1100! The Zurich man came back and pursed his lips. I told him that I knew what his problem was, the repair was more than the write-off value so I suggested that if he gave me £500 I would go away. A week later I had the cheque in my hand. I popped up to the scrapyard at Salterforth, got a new rear lamp cluster, got a tin of white spray paint, straightened the crumple out, gave it five coats of paint, fitted the cluster and advertised the car again using the original advertisement. Again I got an immediate response and Sam Swaine and his son John came round. A quick test drive, a look at the service record and Sam put his hand in his pocket and pulled £700 out. I said that I had a bit of a problem and told him the story about the bin wagon and the £500. I said I couldn't take £700, I'd feel guilty so I sold it for £600. Sam turned to his son and said "Take a good look at this man, you won't find many like him!"
So the Astra was the only car I ever had that I made money on. A fitting end to my long driving career and I have never regretted it! Here's Sam and John the proud owner of the Astra just before they drove off. If you look carefully you'll see the slight crease in front of the rear lamp cluster where I had repaired the £1100 worth of damage!

[David Whipp]

A grand auto tale (and illustrated, too - I don't think I could post pics of all my motors...).

A good ending as well; do you recall the 80 odd year old lady who lived on Lockfield Drive who became notorious in Barlick for her very steady (though sometimes very erratic) driving?

[Stanley]

Joe, the abused Lurcher. Such a shame. He was locked in a shed as a pup for 18 months....
Glad you liked the history... Shall I do wagons now?

[David Whipp]

That would be good...

[Stanley]

I shall rack my poor old brain....
I was thinking about China's comment about how unreliable cars were in the 1970s. DIY car maintenance was not only possible but widely practised in the Flatley Dryer era. Remember all the little accessory shops where you could go for spares? Nowadays they charge you for simply attaching the diagnostic computer to the system!



A bloke from Norway turned up at Hey Farm in 1977. His Land Rover diesel engine wasn't up to the mountains back home so he brought a Perkins P6 diesel and a conversion plate and asked me to fit it for him. A wonderful improvement in performance! I'll bet this would be illegal these days....

[Tizer]

I'll bet this would be illegal these days....

That's never stopped you!

[Stanley]

It wouldn't now either because he was going straight back home. He contacted me about two moths later to say it was a complete success. He left me his old engine so I gave it a complete strip down and overhaul and sold it to Walt Johnson at Crawshawbooth.
The wagon driving. So much of this is Flatley country, I don't think it could happen now. In those days you could drive a road licensed agricultural tractor on public roads if you had a Provisional Licence and 'L' plates. At Harrods Farm at Whatcote where I went as a pupil after leaving school we had a David Brown Paraffin Cropmaster which was a fast tractor, it would do about 30mph and my boss Lionel used to send me to Stratford about 8 miles away for spares so I soon got some miles in on the road as well as general tractor driving. In June 1954 I was nailed for National Service and was at Meeannee Barracks on Mersea Road in Colchester. I found this PC of the guard house on the web, This was in 1900 and it was still exactly like this in 1954.



I still had my provisional licence but didn't have any occasion to use it as I was too busy learning my trade as an anti-tank gunner. We used Stuart gun-towers, an American Honey tank with the turret removed. Two Cadillac V8 engines, Hydramatic drive and rubber faced tracks. One day we had to go to the transport yard to pick up one of the Stuarts and there was a vehicle in the way, a Thorneycroft Antar tank transporter, a serious bit of kit!



We looked for the driver but it was lunch time and we couldn't find him so I got in and moved it, parking it up against the wall at the bottom of the yard. Just then, the window of the Transport office opened and the officer in charge, Captain Kingdom, shouted for me to come over. It looked as though I was in serious trouble, again!

[Stanley]

I marched smartly across the yard to the office window and snapped off a salute to Captain Kingdom. He asked me if I was qualified to drive the Antar so I told the truth, I was qualified but not licensed. A bit cheeky but it seemed to work. He asked what licence I had and told him Provisional so he told me to report yo the transport office at 09:00 the following morning. I still didn't know my fate but I went away with the thought that he hadn't immediately charged me so there was hope yet!
The following morning I reported to the office and was met by an old REME Sergeant who said come with me lad, let's give you a driving test! We climbed in an Austin K30, a 30cwt vehicle by army classification but the same as a five tonner in Civvy Street. We drove off into the countryside, the sergeant saying very little beyond giving me directions. About an hour later we pulled up outside a pub way out in the country and went in. The sergeant bought me a beer and a meat pie and questioned me about where I had learned to drive. Little more was said and we drove back to the barracks, parked in the transport yard and he told me to wait. About ten minutes later he called me into the office and Captain Kingdom gave me a slip of green paper. I asked him what it was and he said that if I took it to Colchester Town Hall they would give me a full driving licence. That was it, January 1955 and I was now a fully qualified driver. It's worth noting that in those days a full driving licence covered all wheeled vehicles of any weight.
I never did any driving in the army but I got five shillings a day extra for being qualified! Funny thing was that I never got any extra pay for qualifying four star as an anti-tank gunner! Mind you, as many of us know, the army has its own peculiar little ways....
Fast forward to July 1956 and demob. I found myself on Civvy Street with two qualifications, one for driving and the other for killing tanks and people. Guess which proved to be the most useful!

[Stanley]

In 1956 my life changed completely and arbitrarily. My dad was going blind and he had retired while I was in the army and bought a grocer's shop at Sough near Earby. Part of the business was running a mobile shop round the local farms and this became my first regular UK driving job. The Bedford Dormobile van, though heavily overloaded was a good motor. The only problem I ever had was a broken half-shaft on what is now Wendy's farm track at Burnt Hill.



I soon noted that this Bedford Wagon lived in the back street behind the shop and it wasn't long until Eddy Lancaster who drove it for West Marton Dairies, realised that he had a cab-happy lad available who, in return for being allowed to drive, would be a good help lifting crates of bottles on and off. I used to go with him in the afternoons to Nelson, drive back with the empties, and join him in the Craven Heifer at Kelbrook where we helped Massey's profits every night except Sunday. Eddy had a brother Eric who also drove for the dairy. They were both running one wheel of the wagon for themselves and could never take a holiday in case they were found out. They realised that I could do a week for them with no danger so I became an official spare-time driver for the dairy. At the same time I soon got to know a local cattle dealer in the village, Richard Drinkall. He and his brothers drove their own wagon but at certain times of the year they needed a driver to bring cattle down from Scotland for them.



They had a Leyland Comet with a Houghton wooden body on. You could get 13 big beasts in and I began to learn my trade as a cattle wagon driver. Here's the chassis many years later parked at Hey Farm waiting for disposal. Funny thing is I can't remember who it was sold to.

This was my driving life for three years until in 1959 my dad asked me to take the business over at Sough together with the debts, he was fed up with struggling. I found a farm at Barlick, sold the business and my 'Open All Hours' career came to an end.

[Stanley]

TWY parked up at The Hey in 1959 ready for the next day's early turn to Keighley. In 1958, while I was still running the shop, I got the chance of a job with a local haulier, Harrison Brothers of Elslack. Their main job was picking farm milk up and bottle carting for West Marton Dairies. I had three loads a day. Two full loads of cans from the farms and a full load of bottles [9 tons] to Keighley depot. I was able to do this and the farm grocery deliveries as well because in summer, the Keighley load had to be fridged at Marton and taken to Keighley first thing in the morning, a 3AM start and a dinnertime finish. I did the farm run with the groceries in the afternoon. Long days and hard work! In those days, small hauliers gave a driver a wagon and he always drove the same one. He was responsible for looking after it and keeping it clean. The S type was almost new and the only diesel wagon Harrison's owned, milk haulage between dairies was paid for by the Milk Marketing Board and the rate was lower for diesel wagons than petrol so on the days when the MMB inspector came I had to use one of the old wagons!



The dairy depot at Keighley in 1986. The steward of a local club used to help me unload and reload the empties but occasionally he would not turn up so I had to lift 9 tons off myself and reload four and a half tons of empties. My hands were like leather and were prone to cracks and many a time when I left here I was leaving blood right round the steering wheel. Once we moved out of the shop the load eased a bit, I could get a night's sleep! The wage was £8-10-0 a week, start when you like, finish when you can.
Harrisons had been in general haulage for years and my wagon had an 'A' Licence. This meant it could carry for anyone. We had an old Bedford on 'B' Licence which meant it could carry for named and approved firms, the others were on 'C' Licence, tied to carting for one firm, WMD. This meant that occasionally I had a foreigner in the afternoons particularly in summer.

[Stanley]

The move to Hey Farm in 1960 was good. Father and mother lived with me and by 1960 I had married Vera. Here's father in 1961 with his personal transport, a tidy Land Rover I bought when we moved in. I had about £35 a month from my driving job for Harrisons, the loan repayment on the farm (4 bedroomed house and seven acres for £2,200!) was £15 a month, father had his pension so we were OK!



By 1961 I was settled in the job. It turned out I was a natural for driving and hard work! Harrison's bought a new Bedford TK diesel and I got it, the 'A' Licence was transferred to it. The TK was a big step forward in wagon design. Bedford diesel engine that made 90hp on a good day, air pressure servo assisted brakes instead of the older Clayton Dewandre vacuum system they had used before and a new, better designed cab. The only peculiarity was that it had a transmission hand brake which could be interesting at times! If you parked on a hill and one back wheel was on ice the wheel would diff backwards and allow the wagon to roll forward until both back wheels had grip!
We bought it as a chassis and built our own body on it. Strong Maranti bearers and thick Keruing boards to resist the wear of the crates and kits. Unladen weight was 4 tons and gross weight was legal to 14 tons so even though it was theoretically a 7 ton wagon we could legally put ten ton on the flat. A full load of bottles was 9 tons. If you work it out we had 6.5hp per ton, laughable by today's standards!



Remember the 'A' Licence? I occasionally had a foreigner in the afternoon in summer after I had done my dairy work, I was still doing the early turn to Keighley in the early hours of the morning. Long hours and forget the log book! One of them was carting hay and straw and here I am at Horton in Craven delivering a load of hay to Dick Lancaster. This was good experience and the start of my tramping career later as I had never carted loads as difficult as this before. If you are tramping for work you need to be able to load anything and keep it on the flat. Eight rounds of bales which had to be properly stacked and roped and driven very carefully. Nothing easy about these loads. You soon found out that time spent roping and careful cornering paid dividends. I never had a load slip on me.
I was always conservative with my loading and roping, I used to rope the load at four courses as insurance and I remember another driver laughing at me in a yard at Ripon one day as he loaded faster than me and didn't rope until he had his eight courses on. Four miles down the road, at a roundabout, he stopped me and asked me to help him reload his wagon, his load had come off. I regret to tell you I told him to piss off and do his job better next time. It was private grief!
A funny story about this day. The old bloke who had been helping me to load and I were leaning on a gate having a pot of tea when we had finished and I offered him a fill of tobacco. He pulled out the biggest pipe I have ever seen in my life, it had a bowl as big as a bucket! He crammed tobacco in and lit it but after a few minutes he said "Smoking a pipe these days is a bugger! If you smoke your own it's too expensive and if you smoke someone else's baccy your pipe won't draw." You've got to laugh......