Family Matters

[Marilyn]

Gawd Tiz...your Dad...is amazing! He is such a character...
I still think he should be introduced to Wendy's Mum...also a character.

Glad that Finlay is back to his old self. Kids just bounce back...

[Marilyn]

I got a nagging from my son today. I gave up smoking at last New Year ( so did Cazza...and we have both done SO well). But I am still on the chewies ( very low dose nicotine and I only have about four a day).
" when are you going to give up those Chewies, Mum? You know they are no good for you in the long run and you have been on them for months".
Do you know how hard it is to give up smoking?
Let me tell you it is hard. Cazza and I have done well and are proud of ourselves. ( we are champions...aren't we Cazza?)
My reply to him was an expletive, followed by a glare, followed by " you worry about your body and let me worry about mine"
( back in your box son!)

[Stanley]

I should think so as well! Amazing how people feel free to comment on your personal habits if they are ones they don't approve of. A lady at the hospital commented on the fact that I was still a smoker. I restrained myself to pointing out it was she who was coughing, not me! She was also grossly overweight but I kept off that one! After all, I still had to go into surgery!
As for Finlay, I am reminded of something Hargreaves Haworth once said when I congratulated him on his success in doctoring poorly cows and making them fit again. He said the trick was to get them eating, he reckoned that a cow that wouldn't eat was the one to worry about. So, Finlay and the toast is as good a clue to his progress as you could wish for.

[Marilyn]

I agree with your sentiments re smoking, Stanley.
We all know that smoking is not a good habit, but the fact is that we all have a choice and I personally enjoyed smoking.
We are bombarded with health messages and I felt bullied into quitting.
And if all it takes to keep me on the straight and narrow is to pop a Chewing Gum every few hours...then so be it.
I sit here most evenings quite happily, but I can not deny there are still some evenings when the thought flits momentarily through my mind that I could murder a cigarette.
It gets easier as time goes on. But I have not seen any health benefits, as I never had any health problems to overcome!

[Stanley]

Maz, the trick is to take notice of your body and do whatever suits you best because we are all different. I have always thought that there was a big gap in research into smoking in that nobody has ever mentioned any beneficial effects, it's almost as though it has always been intended as an anti-smoking polemic. Don't get me wrong, I am sure that cigarettes and cigars are bad for you, that's why I gave them up long ago and wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. However I have always used Falcon pipes which are unique because they condense out many of the worst elements in the smoke and are easy to keep clean. I am sure that there are some deleterious effects but some good ones as well. I have never noticed any problems but of course that may be just me and the fact that I am more tolerant than most to nicotine. One thing I am certain of is that when I decided to stop smoking about ten years ago I was in a worst state then China and my GP said that whilst he wasn't going to tell me to start smoking again I should realise that I was altering a fundamental aspect of my life and this probably explained the headaches and insomnia, problems which I never had before. I started smoking again, immediately recovered and have carried on ever since. Also worth noting that all the research done on smoking refers to cigarettes and not smoking pure tobacco with no additives like saltpetre etc to make it burn. I have never found any significant research into pipe smoking. Bottom line is that my pipe suits me, doesn't seem to be harming me and I'll carry on as I am thank you! (After all, I've survived longer than most already!)
By the way, I've lost count of the number of times I have been having a quiet smoke outside and someone has commented on the nice scent and said it reminds them of their father or grandfather....

[Marilyn]

I don't have any intentions to restart smoking.
Even though there is the occasional craving, I would probably turn green if I had one.
But it is important to always have choice in life, so what I say to people is that I choose not to smoke at present. If I get to 77...I may give it another go...if I can afford them by then. They may be only available on prescription by then if we are to believe the talk.

[Cathy]

Yes, extra pats on back to Marilyn and I, and gold stars!! Over the years I often thought of giving up smoking, mainly for financial reasons and also I hated the thought of being a 'smoking grandmother' one day. Health reasons didn't really come into the decision because I felt fine. I had often looked at nicotine chewies etc but they were also expensive for me. One day Marilyn came round with some much cheaper ones that she had found that are sold only in certain chemists. I trialed them and as time went on I found that they took away a good part of the urge and it was like having 1/3 to a 1/2 of a cigarette. My problem now is that I feel addicted to them. Oh dear...

Stanley I enjoy the aroma of pipe tobacco.

[Marilyn]

They are good, aren't they Cazza. Trouble is we don't want to advertise it, or the price may go up.

I' m extra proud of Cazza. She had smoked for much longer than me and more per day...plus her cigarettes were much stronger. Plus I have distractions in my life that she doesn't have (in regard to getting through the day and time passing). I think the process would have been harder for her.

Keep chewing for now. We will sort out the next step sometime soon.

[plaques]

I'm sorry Stanley but its people like you who keep the tobacco industry afloat. Everybody can find someone who bucks the trend and confounds all the probabilities. The 90 year old gent who smoked Capstan Full Strength all his life and never ailed anything. We all then choose to forget the countless thousands, if not millions, who succumb to terrible illnesses and die prematurely. Carry on smoking your pipe as much as you like but for gods sake don't boast about it.
Yes, I'm a none smoker. I've lost too many of my friends to this habit to give any support to those who maintain its a personal choice and so what has it got to do with you!.

[Marilyn]

Fair enough, Plaques...we all have a view and see things from different angles.
I admit it is a dreadful habit and I certainly smell a lot better these days...
Each and everyone of us gets a cemetery plot/ceramic pot in the end though. No one is immune.

[Stanley]

Not boasting P, just stating a point of view. In terms of deaths per annum and overall harm your argument also applies to anyone who has a drink. There are many things in this world that are good for you in moderation but bad in excess. Perhaps that's what we should be banning, excess in everything! But then, what a boring old world it would be....

[Cathy]

I don't think that anyone actually chooses to smoke, it's just that for some people it takes a very strong hold of you and before you know it you are hooked. I remember the first time I had a cigarette it was on the day that the Americans landed on the moon, we had come home from school especially to watch it and I was with some older girls, I had some drags of their cigarette and my smoking just built up from there. You might only start having 1 or 2 a day, but for anyone who has been hooked on anything the addiction takes over without you really noticing. It's only when you try to give it up that you realise just how strong the hold is. (I'm sure you all know this ofcourse.) It seems a strange thing to put smoke into your lungs and I often had a love/hate relationship with smoking. It certainly is very hard to give up. We all do or have done something that we shouldn't have done.

Working at our local hospital I am always surprised to see how many of them (office and healthcare staff) smoke. It was very unexpected.

Just a question Stanley... I thought that pipe smoke wasn't actually inhaled, I thought it just went into the mouth, or is that cigars??

[Marilyn]

Gosh Cathy, I've just worked out that date...and you really did start smoking young.
( I remember what I was doing that day...sent home from school to watch the moon landing...laying on my tummy on the lounge room carpet at the kid's home, watching the black and white TV.)

( for those of you who are confused, Cathy and I are sisters but were not raised together)

[Stanley]

Cathy, I have always inhaled my pipe smoke but many don't. However, I don't smoke it for long, just get my hit of nicotine and then set it aside. Definitely a FIX!

[Tizer]

A christmas letter arrived from Mrs Tiz's aunt in Canada. She's 83 and only a few years younger than her brother, Mrs Tiz's father, who is suffering all the Parkinson's and dementia problems. Here is an edited extract which shows just how different old age can be for a brother and sister, and how even the most active man can suddenly find his life changed...
-----------------------------------------------------

2013 started with good Nordic skiing at Sovereign Lake for Michael who did 15 trips up there while Joan kept busy with her aerobics 2 or 3 times a week. With our trusty Micro-Spikes (lightweight crampons) we were also able to hike together throughout the winter in Kal Lake Park, which we both enjoy.

In May we travelled to Wells Grey Park with our hiking group. The eight of us stayed in a delightful log lodge with great meals and a wonderful panorama of wildlife viewed in the extensive meadow below the lodge. The hiking was not the Alpine meadows that we are used to as it was in May but along forest trails leading to magnificent waterfalls in full spate.

The rest of the summer was spent hiking with our friends around the Okanagan, Todd Mountain and the Monashees. We also started a installing a new bathroom in March which was not completed until September owing to delays in delivery of components. We now have a walk in shower with a seat in case we get old.

Durrand Glacier Chalet had long been on my `bucket list'. A remote fully-catered chalet at 7000 feet in the Selkirk Range accessed by helicopter only. We flew in early August and were joined by children and friends. The hiking was superb, all above treeline on 8000 foot ridges, the flowers at their peak, waterfalls gushing, glaciers glistening, altogether a memorable experience.

A month later we celebrated Joan`s 83rd birthday in Lake Louise, with dinner at the Post Hotel and hikes to the Plain of the Six Glaciers with a view of the Abbot Hut on one day, followed by a trip above Moraine Lake to Eiffel Lake.

Abruptly on September 29th life changed for Michael when he had a stroke leaving his left side paralyzed, not even a twitch in a finger or toe. Fortunately the wonderful therapy in hospital brought most of the movement back; he is now walking, albeit slowly with a cane and can do simple chores around the house. The family has been wonderful in their support, travelling from Edmonton, Vancouver, San Francisco, Prince George, Nanaimo, Smithers and Calgary, often 2 or even 3 times.

[Stanley]

Tiz, a good illustration of the problem. It's a lottery because it's so unpredictable. Of course part of the reason is that we are all living longer and so, statistically, there is more chance of things like this happening. You've reminded me of something that struck me last week when I was listening to well-fed politicians telling us that we must work longer. The assumption is that because people are 'living' longer they can work longer. Unfortunately longevity doesn't automatically mean a slowing down in age related degeneration. No account is taken of the physical demands of the job. Do we really want HGV drivers working until they are seventy? Think of your own list of jobs that would be as bad. Than there is the fact that you can well imagine someone having a mini-stroke but being told they are fit to work. I'm not in bad nick but I was glad to be able to stop battling when I was 64, there will be many in the same position who are forced to carry on. Then they have a stroke or a loss of mental capacity and are robbed of a short period of rest from labour. Any of us that are having a good retirement are lucky and I fear the numbers having a good experience will drop even though the actuaries say we are living longer and so it's OK.

[Tizer]

I too am glad I was able to stop, in my case at 65, and that for many years beforehand I was able to work, self-employed, from home because in the later years I would have had difficulty travelling to work and would have had to take off frequent time due to being not fit for work. By working at home I was able to work when it suited me and we managed to run a business for 17 years to support ourselves without need for any external funding. There are `old' people who can live the Saga life of work, cruises, activity holidays and partying but there are also many others who can't and look forward to having a quiet life and perhaps pursuing a modest hobby for which there was no time during the work years. When why mother was in her last years and unable to leave the house she would look out of the window and say "Why can't I be like other people who get old but can still walk, go out to the shops and enjoy themselves? Just look at them all out there." I had to try to convince her that she was seeing only the lucky ones who could get out and about, and that many others were like her, stuck inside due to the problems of old age.

I think it was Jeremy Hardy on the News Quiz last week who said something like "It's all right for those who've spent their working lives sitting on their backsides but what about the ones who've worn out their bodies in physical work?"
[His web site has the paragraph: "A kind soul in The Guardian wrote of him, “In an ideal world, Jeremy Hardy would be extremely famous, but an ideal world would leave him without most of his best material.”]

[Stanley]

That's true, he invariably gets to the core of an argument when he goes off on one of his rants. A Good Man! The medical tribunal that finally told me I was on permanent sick didn't believe me when I told them my latest injury was a torn tendon caused by handling a casting in an awkward situation that weighed over 300lbs. I had to convince them that many of us spent most of our lives lifting objects as much as twice our own weight.
Funny thing is that when I stopped working the worst of the pain in my back slowly receded! It's OK now as long as I am careful....

I thought about you this morning when I saw the news that pension providers and advisers have been criticised on the quality of service given to people sorting their pension on retirement. (LINK)

[Tizer]

I thought about you this morning when I saw the news that pension providers and advisers have been criticised on the quality of service given to people sorting their pension on retirement.

Yes, I related some of my experiences on OG at the time of arranging an annuity. Aviva tried to get me to drawdown money and invest it through them when I knew that wasn't the right thing for me, but it would have made an ongoing commission for the salesman who answered my call. He wouldn't have it any other way so I told him what I thought of Aviva and carried on my search. The reason I contacted them was that the company headed the list of `highest annuity payments' in the newspaper money pages at the time. I was amused to see on the linked page that it refers to Ros Altmann, former boss of Saga, campaigning for better annuities. I got a quote from Saga but then found their annuities were provided by Legal & General, so I went direct to L&G and asked for a quote for comparison - it was better than the Saga quote and I took my annuity from them instead! So much for Saga getting better deals. Another scam is when the companies tell you they can get you better annuities because of medical conditions. Yes, it's true if you have one of the `big' diseases or are a smoker, but then any company will offer you better for that. But other conditions are not covered, it's very restricted. You can have very poor health but still be refused an `enhanced' annuity.

[Stanley]

The more I learn about modern difficulties with arranging pensions the more I realise how lucky I was when I converted my policy and took the option that gave me 3% increase year on year. I knew no better, did it with the original provider, Pearl Assurance, and have never had any reason to regret it. Of course I realise now I should have taken advice etc. but I often wonder if I would have done any better. From what I can make out I get twice what I would get today and they tell me the automatic increase is no longer available.

[Tizer]

My dad's getting attention and the services are shifting up a gear now. What a difference it makes once you are `in the system' and the professionals talk to each other instead of folk like me trying to convince them he needs help. The manager of the Extra Care House, the surgery, the Care Manager who looked after him when he came out of hospital a year ago, they're all communicating and there's some `joined up thinking' going on. It's good to see. A test of his `water' today to make sure the confusion isn't just due to urinary tract infection, a visit by the care lady tomorrow to assess him, extra checks from the home staff and we've been with him this morning until he ditched us to go for his lunch!

[Stanley]

You don't half have to twist their tails to get action don't you....

[Moh]

I stopped smoking 15 years ago (I was a 20 a day girl), I decided on my 60th birthday to give up and within 2 weeks could not imagine putting a cigarette in my mouth - I detest the smell now. Hubby who stopped in 1987 still thinks they smell good when someone else is smoking.
When our daughter Diane was in hospital they used to pump fluid from her lungs - (she was a 20+ per day smoker) - if anyone had seen the tar like liquid which was removed they would never smoke again.

[Stanley]

Funnily enough Moh, even though I still smoke my pipe I hate the smell of cigarettes. It smells like burning brown paper to me!

[Marilyn]

I am trying to cut back on the chewing gum now ( low dose nicotine ). I noticed they come in two 'flavours'...one being Spearmint...and I hate Spearmint. So I bought a packet of those from the chemist last week and am alternating them with the original ones. I think it is a good tactic, as I tend to delay bothering with the Spearmint ones. I don't even like that flavour in a toothpaste.
There are still some evenings when I could murder a fag, but I probably would feel sick if I tried.

I notice I am going off coffee drinking too. Down to about two to three cups a day now, and only one cup of tea occasionally. I prefer tap water most of the day.