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Old fashioned clean jokes
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Kev
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Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
That reminds me of Groucho Marx Kev. He was in a concert hall listening to a pianist and turned to his friend. "music can be so moving! Let's get out of here, this is terrible!"
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Kev
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Stanley
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- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Yep! I reckon that could happen. 
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
.
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I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. 
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Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Oh no, a dad joke...
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
And another...
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
How much will you pay me to stop posting such jokes?
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
And another...
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
How much will you pay me to stop posting such jokes?
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Angel of the Morph
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Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I stumbled across these today, they always made me laugh when Terry Wogan read them out on the radio.
https://www.last.fm/music/Terry+Wogan/T ... hn+Stories
https://www.last.fm/music/Terry+Wogan/T ... hn+Stories
Kev
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Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Just in case anyone needed them
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Kev
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Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Just read Ann Trenneman in The Times writing about buying her 2024 diary. Rather than a `proper' diary she prefers to buy a standard notebook so she can organise it as she wishes. When she reached home and got the notebook out of her bag she realised she'd bought it while not wearing her glasses. On the front was `My Notebook' in big bold letters and all the pages had suggestions on how to improve oneself. And when she opened the front cover it had a colourful map of the world and, again in big bold letters: `Travel the World and Get Lost'. 
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Kev
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Stylish Fashion Icon.
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Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I like both of them...... Thanks David and Kev.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Dead Penguins - I never knew this!
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Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antartica? Where do they all go?
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Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguini is a very ritualistic bird and lives an extremely ordered and complex life. Penguins are extremely committed to their family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout the remainder of their life.
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If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and their social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using only their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
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After packing the ice back in the hole, the male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
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“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
.
You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you”
.
.
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antartica? Where do they all go?
.
Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguini is a very ritualistic bird and lives an extremely ordered and complex life. Penguins are extremely committed to their family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout the remainder of their life.
.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and their social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using only their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
.
After packing the ice back in the hole, the male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
.
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
“Freeze a jolly good fellow.”
.
You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you”
.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
-
Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
A genuine shaggy dog story Cathy. Quite a long time since I heard one.....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
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Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Nice one Peter!
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
.
.
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
-
Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 99371
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Old age isn't for cissies!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stop blaming yourself and others, learn feng shui and blame the furniture.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.