Family Matters

[Marilyn]

Tough times for you, Nolic. I can't imagine being able to truly come to terms with a Colostomy. Having it reversed would be a tremendous boost to both body image and confidence. I am sure Cath will continue to shine now. ( you GO girl!)

Wendy..you have had it tough too. Hope Col gets over his current hurdle as well. I don't know why life often sends troubles in bundle form. One thing at a time would be quite enough.

[PanBiker]

You were conspicuous by your absence Colin but glad to hear that Cath is fully mended, that will be an enormous weight off your shoulders as well.

All seems to be being piled on Wendy though, not good, sorry to hear that your Col is not out of the woods yet although your mum seems to be getting sorted. Shout if you need anything.

[Wendyf]

Thanks Ian. Got Col back home this aft after a 3 night stay in Airedale only to find that he had been given a bag containing someone else's drugs as well as his own. When I phoned the ward they were quite keen to get them back, as they were for someone still on the ward. I drove back with them and luckily still had enough time left on my parking ticket to dash in and hand them over to the very relieved and desperately busy nurses.

[Sue]

So pleased to year that Colin. Best wishes to both of you

[Stanley]

Typical of you Comrade, keeping stum until you had better news for us, I thought there might be something.... Give Cath my best and tell her I am extremely interested in the new svelte shape! We need a picture! In all the euphoria my mind swings to you. How are you? It must have been terrible for you. Good to hear that benign neglect of Cath's Mum's demands is doing the trick!
Wendy, sorry to hear about Col. Give him my best and tell him that he has two advantages, having you as a backstop and knowing he has the summer to help him improve. Hope it's a good one.

[Marilyn]

I remember the pic of Cath at Christmas...she looked fabulous...

[Nolic]

Windy, Cath had a similar experience when she was discharged. She was given two lots of painkillers but was on such a natural high when she got home - on a Sunday - that she only took the tramadol that night. First thing in the morning she had a call from her GP telling her on no account take tramadol with the other pain killer given as they can cause severe depression!! We were quite surprised at our GP being on the ball. Give Col my best and remind him that our name means "triumphant". Nolic

[Wendyf]

Col much improved, the IV antibiotics having quickly beaten the infection he had been struggling with since his op nearly 6 weeks ago.
Mum still desperately angry & frustrated by the situation she finds herself in, the nursing home staff (who are wonderful) are finding her "very challenging" and we are beginning to worry that they may not want her to stay.....been visiting again today and it's just exhausting trying to deal with her.

[Sue]

She sounds more like Dad every day! Keep smiling Wendy, remember why she is there, it is better for her and the home us used to this sort of situation.

[LizG]

My father in law passed away yesterday. RIP Geoff.

[Stanley]

Commiserations Liz, it's hard when they leave us....
Wendy, chin up! The home will have met this before and no doubt have strategies they can employ.
Some good family news in contrast. I had a visit yesterday from two handsome women, my grand daughter Yiota from Perth and my daughter Susan from Earby! (and a fried fish for a treat!)



On a fashion item, Yiota informs me that the garment she is wearing on her nether regions is called a skort, a cross between shorts and a skirt. Thought you ought to be kept abreast!

[Marilyn]

Must be the week for it...we too had a death in our ( extended) family. He was an elderly gent who flatly refused to go to hospital when advised to by a medical practitioner and assorted relatives. Died 12 hours later! What can you do?

Wendy, I am amazed at your Mother's rebellious strength. For a woman who doesn't eat much and refuses to drink - where does she find the fortitude to maintain the fight? I expect you have asked yourself the same question...

Stanley...I smiled at the footwear. It looks like she has her boots on the wrong feet. But she will knock 'em dead with her skort. I used to wear a knee length version of the same thing when I worked at the kid's hospital...very practical indeed.

[Stanley]

She is an individualist Maz and a vegetarian as well so I can't get her into 'sensible leather' shoes!

[Wendyf]

Did your father eventually settle Sue? I can't see Mum changing her attitude towards her captors any time soon!
Sorry to hear about your father in law Liz, and your relative too Maz.

[Sue]

Condolences Liz.

No he didn't really change Wendy, he was always angry about his situation. Frustration venting itself. However he eventually said he would stay if he could have personal telephone in his room. He didn't use it much but it did give him a feeling of independence. After several months he admitted he could not have carried on living by himself. He visited the house with us a few times and at first we thought he would not go back to the home. He picked up a bag of books and a few bits and pieces and said ' come on , I don' t need anything else' the books he chose we kept as he said he wanted his family to know in the future the books that he liked to read. My brother has all the books now.

[Stanley]

If I did that it would be a big pile of books!

[Sue]

It was Stanley, he had to leave some behind, mainly dictated by the size and what he could manage to hold.

[Stanley]

Looking forward to tea with Yiota at Earby on Sunday..... I think I'll dress up for her and wear my kilt.

[Wendyf]

Mum went back into hospital in the early hours of Tuesday morning suffering from dehydration. On Saturday I had asked the nursing staff at the care home if it was wise to keep giving her diuretics when she wasn't taking in any fluids, but they could only say that with her heart being so weak they needed to stop the fluid collecting in her legs...the question "what fluid?" wasn't answered.
She is now temporarily off the heart drug (which can do serious damage to the kidneys if it isn't being flushed away) and on a drip to try and get her rehydrated and kidney function restored. She slept through my visit this afternoon, struggling but failing to wake up.
I had a strange conversation about resuscitation yesterday with a very junior looking doctor who was so compassionate and caring that she could hardly bring herself to talk about Mum dying....I had to help her through the experience.

[Sue]

So sorry to hear that Wendy.

[Wendyf]

They are hoping to get her well enough to go back to the nursing home Sue, but if they do it will only mean more distress & suffering. You spoke earlier in the thread about the annoyance & frustration you felt with your Dad disappearing and being replaced with compassion & sadness...well I think I eventually arrived at that point sometime in the last couple of weeks.
She is on an Elderly Care ward in St James's this time, which seems pleasant, peaceful and caring, trouble is it's on the 7th floor, which for someone with a lift phobia like me seemed a bit of a challenge. I was so relieved to find that I entered the block on the second floor, so there were only a few flights of stairs to climb!

[Stanley]

Wendy, sounds like a familiar pattern. Glad you are finding some mental calm water. I hope that whatever the outcome your Mum is comfortable and peaceful. It sounds as though you will both be all right..... Big hug.

[Sue]

I know that life feeling. Luckily, now I go a lot of places with Wendy Margaret I have managed to conquer it, but I will never go in a lift by myself or with a lot of people.

Your mum is in the right place. It's a hard time, my thoughts are with you.

[Wendyf]

Mum died quite suddenly this morning. The staff nurse, who had just been talking to her then went to fetch a bed pan, said she took a couple of gasps and was gone. Glad to know she didn't suffer.
My brother, being closer, is dealing with the practicalities, and I have been trying to contact friends and family but everyone seems to be out this morning. Feeling at a bit of a loss really, I don't want to leave the house in case anyone 'phones back, and I cant settle to anything.

[Cathy]

Very sad news, thinking of you and sending you and your family my condolences Wendy, and a big hug. All the best.