Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

[Tripps]

If you have a pet sheepdog - best keep it indoors tomorrow -

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It's a Ban Collie Day.

[Big Kev]

If you have a pet sheepdog - best keep it indoors tomorrow -

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It's a Ban Collie Day.

Oh dear

[Gloria]

[Stanley]

Oh Dear indeed!

[Stanley]

[Gloria]

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[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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Heaven Had No Diet Plan….and He Was Not Happy About It!
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An 85-year-old-couple, married for nearly 60years, died in a car accident. For the past decade, they’d been in amazing health - mostly thanks to the wife’s strict diet and nonstop fitness routine.
At the pearly gates, St. Peter welcomed them and showed them to their new heavenly home: a stunning mansion with a massive kitchen, luxury bathrooms, even a Jacuzzi - everything sparkling and perfect.
They stood in awe until the old man finally asked, “So… how much does it all cost?”
St. Peter smiled. “Nothing. This is Heaven.”
Next, he took them out back - right beside a championship golf course. They could play everyday, and each week it magically transformed into a different world famous course.
“How much are the green fees?”, the old man asked.
“Sir,” St. Peter said, “this is Heaven. There are no green fees.”
Then he led them into the clubhouse, where a gigantic buffet stretched wall to wall - every kind of delicious food imaginable.
“And the food?” the old man asked. “How much?”
St. Peter sighed. “It’s all free. This is Heaven!”
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The old man looked uneasy. “Okay… but where’s the low-fat , low-cholesterol section?”
St. Peter laughed. “That’s the best part! Eat whatever you want, as much as you want- you’ll never gain weight and never get sick.”
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At that the old man suddenly lost it.
He threw his hat on the ground, stomped on it, and started yelling.
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His wife and St. Peter rushed to calm him, “What’s wrong?!”
The old man pointed straight at his wife and shouted:
“This is ALL YOUR FAULT! If it wasn’t for your bran muffins and diet nonsense….
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I could’ve been HERE ten years ago!”

[Stanley]

I like it Cathy.... (Didn't see it coming...)

[Gloria]

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[Big Kev]

True story Gloria

[Stanley]

Correct!

[Gloria]

[Big Kev]

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[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Big Kev]

[Big Kev]

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[Gloria]

[Stanley]

Naughty but funny...

[Big Kev]

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[Stanley]

So true! I have seen it happen.