Family Matters

[Wendyf]

Good news Tripps, congratulations.

[Nolic]

Congratulations to all Tripps. Nolic

[PanBiker]

Congratulations Tripps. We have two of our three all day on Wednesdays. The youngest Finlay has just started to crawl, a proper rug rat now, cats are in exile from dawn till dusk, happy days

[Stanley]

Nice one Tripps. New babies always cheer everyone up..... I'm crossing my fingers for January.....

[Sue]

Congrats. I love seeing my two. They are staying this weekend (and their mum) as Ed is in NewOrleans this week presenting two papers at an International conference. We have lots planned

[Tripps]

Thank you all for your kind remarks - appreciated.

[Moh]

The vitamin e capsules healed all the affected area around the ulcer but not the very small ulcer itself. I had my appointment at Dermatology on Monday and guss what, they referred me to Orthopedics!! So awaiting another appointment now.

[Stanley]

Glad to see you are making a bit of progress Moh. They are nasty things.

[Tizer]

I hope it clears up soon Moh. I've been to the doctor to get his opinion on a couple of blemishes, one on my ear and the other on my arm. I wouldn't bother about them but they've been there a while now and I thought it best to check as my dad has had small skin cancers removed from his hand (see below, too). I'm being sent to a specialist to get a decision on whether to remove them or not, but the doc thinks the one on the ear is a `rodent ulcer' which he tells me is harmless; the other needs a closer check. It's better to be on the safe side, but the process of getting appointments and going back and forth is a hassle, especially when we are also ferrying my dad to and fro for his treatments! The doc said it could be months before I get an appointment but it's not urgent.

We are having to take my Dad on more visits to hospital due to a swollen lymph gland under his left armpit. Over the last couple of years he has had small carcinomas removed from the back of his left hand but it has now migrated to the lymph node, which has swollen to the size of a satsuma orange. We tried to get him to go to the doctor when it was smaller but he wouldn't, not because of any fear of surgery (he's oblivious to medical treatment!) but simply because he wouldn't believe it was anything serious. He's now had a biopsy which confirmed it was cancerous tissue and they've decided he's fit enough for surgery and will be going to Exeter soon for a general anaesthetic op and about 7-day stay (about 80 mile round trip). Of course we're taking him for all the usual pre-op and pre-pre-op interviews, tests, etc nearer to home (30 mile round trip) but then he has to go Exeter for another pre-op interview with the surgeon. It's a long-drawn out business! H ehad a CT scan last week, now they've called him for an MRI scan - he should be living at the hospital!

[Moh]

An expensive job all the travelling. I suppose we are lucky in Lancashire - the main hospitals are not that far away.

[Tizer]

It's time consuming too, Moh, for both patient and his/her carers, and sometimes they give you appointments so early there's no way you could get there in time. That 30-mile round trip is between my Dad's house and the nearest hospital - there is an additional 14 miles total for me to travel to collect him and deliver him home. After collecting him we have to drive through his town and out the other side, then the same at the town where the hospital is located - into one side, through all the traffic and out the other side to the hospital. It's bad in the rush hour!

[Marilyn]

Good thing you don't live in OZ. sometimes it is hundreds of miles to the nearest hospital.
We were miles from a hospital last weekend on a camping trip. Our friend sustained a hand injury and it was obvious it wasn't good. Hubby drove him to the nearest hospital and he had to take him back every six hours for intravenous antibiotics to be administered ( for a 48 hour period, day and night). By the time they got back to camp it was almost time to head off again!
Not the greatest camping weekend ever had. ( the poor fellow needs surgery now but at least the killer infection is sorted).

[Stanley]

Reading this is a bit like 'Three Men in a Boat' when they read the medical dictionary and decided they had everything except Housemaid's Knee! I am checking all my little blemishes.....
Tiz, best of luck for your Dad....

[Tizer]

Maz, I wouldn't have even survived into adulthood in Oz, it would have been far too tough for a sensitive type like me!

Thanks, Stanley. At least my Dad seems unfazed by it all, more angry at the inconvenience than frightened by the prospect of an operation - it's disrupting his busy life, i.e. missing TV! I don't know what it will be like taking him for a week' stay in hospital - when he went for a CT scan last week he had a big bag containing pyjamas, dressing gown, slippers etc and he was only in for an hour or so. A week's visit might warrant a big suitcase!

Mrs Tiz and her sister are finding it really difficult with their parents who are having increasing problems but unwilling to accept any help. Sister was there yesterday and there was an electric switch hanging off the wall but Dad still won't get an electrician in because of the state of the whole wiring. The Community Matron (excellent, efficient but sympathetic Chinese lady) says Mum needs a stair lift but that too would need electrics and no electrician is going to want to wire their kit into Dad's house without lots of changes. Yet they still won't consider moving into any kind of residential care, they won't move from where they live. The washing machine has now broken down. Dad got a man in but he says the old machine is past repair and he needs a new one. The dishwasher failed a couple of weeks ago. They can afford new machines but don't really want the hassle, even though Mrs Tiz can order them on the web and have them delivered. The daughters are caught in a dilemma - they are watching their parents decline into a terrible state but can't do anything about it, and probably will have to watch and wait until the parents' health becomes so bad that outsiders make the decision that they have to go into a nursing home. Sleepless nights for the daughters, they love their parents even though the parents make life difficult for them.

[Stanley]

This isn't really a suggestion, although the fact that I was an outsider intervening was perhaps the key. At one time one of my mates had recently lost his wife and had gone into a sharp decline fuelled by whisky. I watched helpless until his family came to me and asked if I could do something. My solution was brutal, I got some ammunition and went down to see him. I gave him the biggest bollocking he had ever had in his life, pointed out that he was losing everyone who cared about him and presented him with an alternative. I gave him a set of castings and told him to go into the shed and make a steam engine. It worked, he stopped drinking, went into the shed and never stopped making things till he died. He re-married as well!
As I say, not really a direct solution but there may be some clues. I think the key was that I was not part of the family, prepared to be brutal and presented a plan for a way out. PS. It could all have gone horribly wrong but would it have been any worse than leaving him to decline?

[Tizer]

After a CT scan last week of the swollen lymph gland under his arm my Dad was called back for an MRI scan on Monday. Having had the scans, I phoned the hospital to check if they'd made an appointment because he's being treated as an urgent case. They said they'd been trying to phone him (unsuccessfully) and they'd sent out letters for a pre-op appointment date (tomorrow) and an admission date (next week) but it turns out they've sent them to the wrong address and presumably phoned the wrong number. When they told me the date and time of the admission I said there would be no-one to take him to the hospital (2-hour drive each way) because I had to collect Mrs Tiz on her return from an overseas trip that day. They said "That's OK, he'll be able to have transport" and on that basis we agreed the admission date was OK. Yesterday I had to phone them again about the details and, speaking to a different lady, asked if the transport was booked, to be told "We don't arrange transport, his GP will have to do it". Phoned the GP and was told "We can't arrange transport" and was directed to a phone number which turned out to be ambulance service. After asking questions they said my father was not eligible for transport (he's not disabled enough!) and I was given a local authority number. They were willing to transport him but at a cost of £63! So, the final fall-back plan is that I'll be taking him for his 4.00pm admission but early in the day so that I can then go to collect Mrs Tiz. I'll have to leave him with magazines and a bag of sweets! He and I get a trial run tomorrow to take him to the same hospital so that the surgeon can do his `let the dog see the rabbit' assessment. The worst bit of these long journeys at this time of year is returning in the dark, I hate the blazing bright lights of approaching traffic, especially in the rush hour.

[Sue]

This story sounds so familiar, with my dad.

[Tizer]

Following on that story, here is a weird coincidence. Knowing about my Dad's skin cancer problems I showed my GP some skin blemishes on my left arm (same arm as is giving my Dad trouble) and he referred me to see a specialist `just in case'. I was directed to the NHS `choose and book' service to get an initial `look and see' appointment and found about six hospitals available for that speciality, all giving waiting times of over 100 days - except one showing 57 days which happens to be the nearest. When I clicked on that hospital it said they didn't do that speciality, even though they are supposed to according to the main page. But then I found that clicking on all the other hospitals gave pages saying `No information available'. So I rang the service instead and the lady must have been using the same web site because she got exactly the same problems when trying to find me a hospital. Then she said "It doesn't matter, I'll look on the board here in the office, it's more up to date" (so much for the digital NHS!). In the end I chose one which was the best combination of time and accessibility and the lady said the surgery would send me a letter with an appointment. I got the letter yesterday - and the appointment was for (guess what) next Tuesday, the same day as my Dad goes for his operation and I'm not available anyway. I had to call them and ask for another appointment and the first one they could give me was 19th February, about 90 days (the Tuesday must have been a cancellation). Isn't it just typical that everything should coincide on the same day. I rang our builder this morning and asked him for confirmation he is starting the next phase of our insulation work on Monday - and he said no, he'll start on Tuesday! So I've had to put him off until Wednesday.

[EileenDavid]

Hello folks, haven't been on for over 2 weeks as I have been indisposed. Went to the opticians on the 31 October as I was seeing a lot of black floaty things. Sent me with a letter to Manchester Royal Eye Hospital accident & emergency with a tear in the retina. They cancelled someone else's appointment and operated on me the same night. Still putting drops in but my check up on Thursday went well with consultant saying it was looking good. Now the gas bubble has gone I can see quite well again. Got to go again in about 4-6 weeks for a further check up. Good service from the NHS Eileen

[Wendyf]

Glad to hear you are on the mend Eileen, I was wondering where you were. How does something like that happen?

[PanBiker]

I hope you mend up OK Eileen, cant have been pleasant with stuff floating about in front of you. I once had wobbly eyes but it was my optic nerves being effected by a massive sinus infection, sorted with antibiotics but very disorienting, kept falling over. Good luck for your check up.

[Stanley]

'Floaters' can be a bugger can't they Eileen. I have had them for years but mine are bits of the retina peeling off because of mileage! You just have to put up with them in that case. The good thing is that in time, if you have them, you seem to adjust and don't notice them. Best of luck with yours. Daughter's dog tore her eyeball on a thorn and thanks to the insurance throwing many pounds at the problem she was seen by the vet immediately and has had two operations in three weeks. Seems to be fine now. So the problem may be that none of us is rich enough!

[EileenDavid]

Thanks for all your messages. Wendy it would seem they don't know what causes it, something as simple as sneezing, turning over in bed, a bang to the head etc. The floaters are a nuisance but the ones I had were really angry like strands and swirly patterns. When they attached the tear in the retina they put a gas bubble in to fill the vacuum left when they remove some of the liquid in the eye so they can laser. When the sight comes back to the eye the bubble is visible and is in your line of focus for about a week before the liquid replenishes and disperses the bubble. I also had to sit and sleep sat up for 7 days so the liquid didn't come back before the lasering had healed. But I could have gone blind in one eye so it has been worth it, at the moment it is only a shade different from my right eye so I am pleased. The optician I went to in Bury said that although I should have gone to one of the hospitals in the Trust for the area he knew they would have then referred me to Manchester Royal Eye Hospital so he sent me there direct. One of the doctors said he had been there 5 years and had never known them to operate the same day. As I said the service of the NHS in my case was excellent. The only problem I have got now the optician said it wouldn't change my eye sight and made my new glasses. Using my old ones again at the moment as I can't see through the left lens of the new ones so I will have to go back and get them to change them. Leaving it until I have finished with the drops though. Eileen

[Tizer]

I mentioned elsewhere about my dad being in Exeter hospital for removal of a lymph gland. The op went OK and he healed very quickly (surprised the nurses and doctors) but he was left confused and we're hoping this will improve. They said he would be sent to a hospital in the town where he lives (7 miles from us, compared with 50 miles for Exeter) for some rehab but it still hasn't happened. We haven't been to see him again, mainly because of being trapped in our village by floods, yesterday we could go so I rang to check first that they hadn't moved him to the other hospital without telling us. It's good I did phone because the staff nurse told us not to come, the wards are being closed because of a norovirus outbreak at the hospital. They've put my dad in a room to himself because he hasn't shown any symptoms and to keep him in check - he tends to wander at the moment. If only they had sent him to the local hospital earlier he would have avoided the outbreak altogether but the consultants hadn't `given him the green light', as the nurses put it to me. The doctors said his GP had to be the one to arrange for him to be moved. I rang the GP who said that was rubbish, it's Exeter's decision, and he phoned the consultant and gave him a piece of his mind. Exeter still said dad had to wait until a bed was available at the local hospital but when I phoned that hospital they said they could take my dad immediately if asked. Now, of course, they probably won't accept him for a while because of the norovirus outbreak. It's all back to the failings in communication, coordination etc in the NHS. The nurses and associated staff have been excellent and seem to be doing their best for my dad, and they'd like him sent to the local place so they would have a bed freed, but they're stuck with what the doctors say.

[Stanley]

I can imagine how you feel. It's a catalogue of incompetence and bad communications. I once asked Stafford Beers (Who knew about these things) what constituted good communication. He said it wasn't what was sent, how it was transmitted or how it was received, it was what was understood. It sounds as though all concerned should learn this aphorism by heart. It's enough to make you weep isn't it....

Funnily enough Dr Foster has published the results of a survey on this very problem, see this LINK.
There is a direct linkage with Charlie Webster's article as well. Jeremy Hunt says that NHS beds are only 85% occupied so there is no overcrowding problem. This is exactly the same disinformation ploy that the government's Chief Medical Officer of Health used in the 1930s, it's not a lie but omits any mention of the fact that these are averages over the whole system and do not pick up local examples which are far worse and need addressing. The core of Charlie's article is that he dug into the local figures and shewed that in many areas there was no improvement in the health, indeed, in some cases, it had deteriorated because of local factors. This is the exercise Hunt and his ministry should be doing and the Doctor Foster site has done the job for him. Hunt must know these figures and to stick by his crude analysis demonstrates either a callous lack of concern or sheer incompetence. Perhaps he should read Charlie's article?
PS, while I was writing this they had a man from the Health ministry on and he refused to recognise that the 85% figure was, at best, misleading. Prior to him there was another commentator who revealed that many hospitals do the occupation count at midnight or in the early hours when occupancy is lowest. Now there's a surprise..... a cunning wheeze?