OneGuyFromBarlick

Lovely family photos Stanley, you all look very happy!

Liz, I'm a bit late and catching up...sorry to hear what you've gone through but just think what you saved him from - I hope someone will be brave enough to switch off my life support when the time comes.

I want to thank everyone for their kindness over the last few weeks. Your comments have certainly helped me to cope. I am still very sad but I think I'm over the shock now.

You're right, they are great kids... No room on the wall Cathy but you're right. Joanne has stolen my heart!
More visitors today....

Grand daughter Laura has officially taken Australian citizenship....



The new citizen with her proud parents!

How many were 'done' at the same time Stanley there's quite a few seats there?

Don't know Cathy but I think it was a mass conversion!

It usually is.

Was your granddaughter not born in Australia Stanley?

No, Clitheroe.....

We haven't forgotten you Liz......

Still hanging in there Stanley. Mum has now moved into aged care and is planning her escape. She doesn't realise it's Hotel California. "You can check out any time you like but you can never leave".

Started down the legal road today. Its amazing how many forms you need to fill out when a family member dies and their partner is in a fragile state.

On a happy note I would like to put on my bragging hat. Feel free to ignore.

About 4 years ago my son was told to stop playing sport, specifically cricket because he needed 2 knee replacements and at 35 he was too young for the operation. He decided that he would start umpiring cricket instead. He has put in an incredible amount of effort and on February 15 he is making his debut umpiring a Sheffield Shield match; NSW versus Victoria. Look out, Ashes next!!! Good job he has a wonderful patient wife who also loves sport.

We will be traveling to Wagga Wagga, of all places, to watch because apparently we must see the first ball bowled. Might be really bored after 4 days. Lots of family members and friends are going to support him. Are we allowed to heckle the umpire?

I can well imagine it these days. When my parents died it was relatively easy apart from the fact I found that Mother's pension died with father because she was still married to another man who was still alive. I got hold of social services who were brilliant, they told me not to worry this was quite common. They gave mother an immediate emergency payment and then put her on a scheme, I forgot the name, but on it she got a slightly better rate than the normal pension because she got payments for laundry and things like that. In addition they went after her first husband and it turned out he had been claiming income tax relief for us three kids all our lives. Father never contested this because there were too many secrets in his life like the fact he wasn't who he said he was, a deserter from the army and already married to a woman in Australia.... No wonder we were always hard up!
But, the main thing is that eventually it all passed. Mother had a comfortable life and a quiet end living in a little back to back house next to me in King Street. When she died my siblings asked me when I was selling the house as they wanted their share even though there was no will. It was interesting to see their reaction when I told them they were getting zilch because I'd bought the house for her and never charged any rent.... As I said earlier, you learn a lot about people at times like that, you will be having the same experience.... Stick in there, it gets better!
You posted again as I was replying.... Good to see you have happy things as well!

Plenty to brag about there Liz and I don't blame you.

17 months on from Cath's dad's death and the issues rumble on. Despite POA for her mum Cath has had a hell of a time trying to get his shares in Marks and Spencer signed over. They want to raise the fences every time and it makes Cath feel that she is a thief. All the money is going to her mum's care and it looks like this will continue for some time as physically Pam seems quite fit.
I hope all the money goes as if there is anything left half has to go to Cath's sister who has from day one refused to help in any way, did not visit Bernard when he was ill and has not visited Pam at all. She is a real selfish b***h who deserves hell in her old age. Rant over. Thanks, Nolic

I know those feelings Comrade and never apologise for having them. It is allowed! There were other instances of bad behaviour... Funny thing is that when mother was on the last lap and my brother and sister had turned up and were making a nuisance of themselves by badgering the medical staff for miracles I went to the sister and asked if she'd last the night. She said I don't think so and it was unlikely she would regain consciousness. So I said I'd go home and asked if she could ring me in the morning before she went off shift. She said "You've been looking after her haven't you", she recognised all the signs... She rang first thing the next day and told me that mother died at about 3am.... I was OK, I had done my grieving and said my farewells. There are treasures in heaven....

Administering PoAs is still difficult and we sympathise with you, Nolic. It seems that we have to do the training and education of people working in the organisations who don't yet understand how PoA works because they haven't been given it by their bosses. It's gradually getting better but there are still some out there who don't understand the authority of PoA and others who don't want to accept it.

There'll be a lot of people shocked to find that `there's nothing left' after their relative's care has been funded, it's getting more expensive by the minute but most folk don't realise how expensive.

I was at the Care Home yesterday afternoon, in the lounge with about eight residents. The TV was showing an episode of "Waiting For God", which is set in a care home. The contrast between the TV and the actuality was stark. Reminded me of the stairlift adverts where the participants obviously have no need of one.

That's the `Saga' image of care homes and nursing homes with everyone playing tennis or chess! We've bought Mrs Tiz's father one of those `day clocks' that we got for my dad and which has proved useful in countering the confusion over day & night and time of day. He later told us "This hotel is great, it even has a screen that tells you what day it is. And they brought me porridge this morning for breakfast!" (He likes his porridge.) He often believes he's in a hotel rather than a nursing home which says something about how well the home is run. Not a bad way to be, thinking you're living in a good hotel! When we visited my dad on Sunday morning he was asleep in his armchair with his feet up on a stool, socks off and trousers rolled up. The carer had put cream on his feet to help the dry skin. When he woke he leant forward, reached down, and pulled on his socks without help - that's quite a feat for a 96-year-old!

I'm impressed, I always make a quick audit of my back when putting my socks on.... You learn over the years!
Watched Panorama on A&E last night. Lots of old people who are not getting the care in the community they should.... Just what we highlight in this topic. Very sad.....

We're coming up against a care problem that's going to affect lots of people soon and needs someone in authority to sort it out in advance before it causes a lot of grief, confusion and aggravation. I'm referring to the `best interests' of a person in care. We find carers telling us that they are obliged to do something because it's in the `best interests' of the person but we - the relatives who also care for that person in other ways - may say it is not in their`best interests' and perhaps will have an adverse effect on their interests. An example is denial of liberty where the professional carers say they need to physically restrict the person to stop them getting out of bed, falling over and hurting themselves. We relatives may think otherwise and, knowing the person so well, believe they would never want that restriction and would want to take the risks. We haven't yet reached a head on clash with carers but I can see it might happen. I wonder how such differences are going to be resolved, and by whom?

Do we need to insert clauses to cover this in Advanced Directives? I'd advise everyone to make one now!

I haven't forgotten you Liz.....

Thank you my friend.

I am invited to Earby for a birthday dinner tomorrow... Nice!
Sue, you'll be p[leased to hear that the U4A memorial foot spa is still going strong, I celebrated my birthday last night with a longs soak and foot maintenance! (I've posted this here because I know Sue reads this thread regularly....)