Old fashioned clean jokes
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Not funny, but interesting
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I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
It's amazing how the human brain can identify words from the 'pattern' the word makes.
Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
My problem is I can understand it but can't fill in the bits that are missing.
- PanBiker
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
No bits missing for me, it just reads like normal. I think its our brains equivalent of predictive text but actually more accurate.
Ian
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Yes but the number '3' appears to equate to the letter 'e'. the fifth letter. ( I think). OK for you code breakers but spare a thought for lesser mortals like me .
- Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Obvious that the fifth letter is 'S'.
That's brilliant Cathy.
That's brilliant Cathy.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I need to have that explained to me Kev.....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
People post pictures of their whole life on social media, there's a standing joke that if it isn't on Facebook it didn't happen.
Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
A British man took a flight to Australia.
At customs , the official asked him:
“Do you have a criminal record?”
To which he replied:
“Oh! I didn’t think we needed those to get in anymore!”
At customs , the official asked him:
“Do you have a criminal record?”
To which he replied:
“Oh! I didn’t think we needed those to get in anymore!”
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
- Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Thanks for the explanation Kev. That had completely passed me by....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
When on your driving test and the examiner asks "what signs would you expect to see on a rural road"? Free range eggs for sale is not the right answer
Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Can anyone remember the 'Cattle' road sign coming down from Thornton to Earby that was modified to look like an Elephant. The Councils comment was 'Good isn't it'.
- Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
No, but I like the response.
Asking about countryside signs reminded me of this one.
Asking about countryside signs reminded me of this one.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I notice the official photo of the G7 leaders showed 9 people - can't they count?
It turns out the extras are two EU officials.
It turns out the extras are two EU officials.
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Childish schoolboy humour but I could resist
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Kev
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- Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
- Stanley
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- Posts: 91269
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91269
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91269
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91269
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
When I was nine years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a dear friend of his, someone who I didn't even know. When we got there, I stayed in a corner of the church nervously waiting for the time to pass.
A tall and kindly man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life, kid. Be happy because time flies so quickly and before we know it, it is all over.' Then he passed his hand over my head, ruffled my hair, smiled and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.
When I looked into the open coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had just spoken to me!
I was so traumatized, that for many years I couldn't sleep properly. I had terrible nightmares. I was so terrified of being alone at night. I couldn't sleep without a night light or the door wide open for many years. I saw many psychologists and endured much turmoil throughout my early adolescent years.
It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear, at the thought of the tall man smiling as he walked away.
It wasn't until years later, that I discovered something incredible that changed my whole life.
A tall and kindly man approached me and said, 'Enjoy life, kid. Be happy because time flies so quickly and before we know it, it is all over.' Then he passed his hand over my head, ruffled my hair, smiled and left.
My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to the dead person.
When I looked into the open coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had just spoken to me!
I was so traumatized, that for many years I couldn't sleep properly. I had terrible nightmares. I was so terrified of being alone at night. I couldn't sleep without a night light or the door wide open for many years. I saw many psychologists and endured much turmoil throughout my early adolescent years.
It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear, at the thought of the tall man smiling as he walked away.
It wasn't until years later, that I discovered something incredible that changed my whole life.
► Show Spoiler
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Oh China, you had me going there, so much so that I forgot which Topic I was on...
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.