Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

Very good, I like all of them.....

[Big Kev]

I remember, as a child, adults saying 'excuse my French' after swearing. During my first days at school the teacher had quite a shock when she asked if any of us knew any French

[Stanley]

Early language can be quite confusing. I always think of the child who asked her mother why people were imprisoned for laughing. She had seen a news report of a man being gaoled for man's laughter......

[Big Kev]

Wise nun

2 nuns went to shop at the market. They were taking so long so one said , Sister Mary it is getting dark and we are so far away from the convent. I know Sister Rose but there is a man following us. Oh! What does he want. He wants his wicked way with us. What can we do. Let's separate. You go left and I will go right. He followed Sister Rose. Sister Mary reached the convent and became worried. After an hour Sister Rose appeared. What happed? , I started to run and so did he. And then? He caught up with me. Oh my God. And what did you do. I lifted up my dress Sister! And what did he do. Dropped his pants. And then? Its obvious isn't it. A nun with her dress lifted up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

[Cathy]

[Big Kev]

Just to let everyone know that I've been admitted to hospital and they're keeping me in. I have inadvertently poisoned myself by eating what I thought was an onion but was actually a daffodil bulb. They reckon I should be coming out in the spring.

[Stanley]

I take it that's a joke.....

[Big Kev]

It's in the 'jokes' thread

[Stanley]

At my age Kev, any mention of hospitals triggers red alert!



This is an old cartoon but sadly still totally relevant!

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

[Tizer]

Cathy, that's a good example of the intelligence level of men in suits and ties and carrying a briefcase!

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

Latest update from the airport, the bloke in front of me has collapsed onto the luggage carousel.
He's coming round slowly...

[MickBrett]

[Stanley]

Oh dear.....

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

I recognise that one Cathy.....

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

It took me a while

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[Tripps]

"Good grief "

[Stanley]

I love Peanuts.....

[Tripps]

This I discover is a Rebus. .

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[Stanley]

And I thought it was a fictional Scottish detective!
I live and learn.....

[Tizer]

This is my favourite Larson cartoon...