Old fashioned clean jokes
- Stanley
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
David, nothing quite as effective as the glare of publicity to stimulate conscience.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I've been saving it - the time seemed right today. . . . .
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I like it David, very clever.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Much talk of painting around - so this from Alan Ashworth's weekly column yesterday -
Old jokes’ home -
Irishman knocks on the door of an imposing mansion and asks: ‘Any odd jobs need doing?’ ‘Yes,’ says the owner, ‘you can paint my porch out the back. You’ll find some white paint in the shed.’ Two hours later he’s back. ‘Finished,’ he says. ‘But I have to tell you. It’s not a porch, it’s a Mercedes.’
Old jokes’ home -
Irishman knocks on the door of an imposing mansion and asks: ‘Any odd jobs need doing?’ ‘Yes,’ says the owner, ‘you can paint my porch out the back. You’ll find some white paint in the shed.’ Two hours later he’s back. ‘Finished,’ he says. ‘But I have to tell you. It’s not a porch, it’s a Mercedes.’
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
That's good David. It reminds me of a C&W song I heard once which contained the line "We have a front Porsche and a back Porsche".
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
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- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Guilty on all counts Cathy except the last one.
That reminds me of a story I picked up somewhere about a man who worried his doctor because of the large number of incontinence pads he was using. When he went to visit he found the man was using them to insulate his loft.....
That reminds me of a story I picked up somewhere about a man who worried his doctor because of the large number of incontinence pads he was using. When he went to visit he found the man was using them to insulate his loft.....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I like it.....
This might be the best place to put this household tip. I learned it many years ago from a farmer in Gargrave. Cats are very difficult to control during surgical procedures if not anaesthetised. The best way to handle them for say castration is to shove them head first into a Wellington boot. (Sorry about that....)
This might be the best place to put this household tip. I learned it many years ago from a farmer in Gargrave. Cats are very difficult to control during surgical procedures if not anaesthetised. The best way to handle them for say castration is to shove them head first into a Wellington boot. (Sorry about that....)
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Haha!
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
- PanBiker
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
That's the children's chair that he is sat on. He needs mummy's big chair before he get the job full time.
Ian
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Nightmare on Downing Street.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 93522
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stolen from elsewhere -
Rumours of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards.
Turned out to be a complete lack of pies!
Rumours of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards.
Turned out to be a complete lack of pies!
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday