COUNTRY HOUSE VISITS. ETIQUETTE

[Stanley]

COUNTRY HOUSE VISITS

HAVING received an invitation to come down for a few days shooting or hunting, and having accepted in the usual manner, you will find on arrival at the station a carriage or motor which has been sent to meet you, and probably one or two other " guns " who have come by the same train. You put each other at ease by saying a word or two apropos of being bound for the same house, a formal introduction by your host following at the first opportunity.

Your own man would, of course, find the waiting motor for you and see to the removal of your things from the railway carriage and guard's van. If you have come unattended, you gather up your rugs and papers and make your way to the platform, where the servant of your host will readily find you and see to your luggage.

On arrival, you will be personally welcomed by the hostess, and after taking some refreshment go up to your room, where you will be met by the valet who has been assigned you for your visit, should you have come without a servant. He unpacks and arranges your clothes and sees that you have all that is required.

Having brushed up a little, you go down to the hall and join other members of the house party. Usually it is tea time, the hour for pleasant chatter, a game of ‘100 up’ in the billiard room, or a stroll to the stables to view the horses, if they have not been ‘going’ or to the kennels - a never-ending pleasure to a keen sportsman or sportswoman. A game of bridge often goes on briskly, and so the time passes until the dressing gong sounds.

Going to your room, you will find your clothes all ready laid out by your own or your host's man, and after your toilet is completed you go down to the drawing-room. Here you will be introduced to any guests whom you have not previously known and your host will assign you to a dinner partner, your hostess if you are ripe in years or the most distinguished of the newly arrived guests.

Some light entertainment is the rule after country house dinners-music, bridge, billiards, tournaments, and so on, unless there is a dance on at a neighbouring house or one has been arranged by your hostess at her own. If the ice is good you may even get a skating carnival - always fine sport on a
moonlight night. Scotland gives the best chance for skating, of course, but it is always wise to be provided with well-kept skates when going to country houses on a winter visit. h

Candlesticks are arranged on a long table either just outside or sometimes inside the drawing-room. It is a nice old-fashioned courtesy to attend the
lady who is saying good night to her host and hostess, and to light her candle for her in true gallant fashion. This is, of course, where electric light does not deprive you of this charming duty.

The men, as a rule, take a final smoke and, maybe, a nightcap glass with their host, but it is not necessary to lay yourself out at this hour as a raconteur. "Early to bed and to rise" is the order of things in the country.


IN THE MORNING

Having told your man what you are doing: shooting, hunting, fishing, motoring, or simply walking, he will put out the necessary clothes for the occasion. He will also bring back the clothes and boots which were taken away after being worn yesterday, and have now been brushed and are ready again for use. He will turn on your bath, having given you a cup of tea if you wish it, and, if desired, will assist you to dress. He will also take orders as to any commissions to be executed for you at his leisure during the day.

Breakfast is quite informal; no servants wait at table, each guest helping himself ; a gentleman assists any lady to the dishes she may prefer from the sideboard, and she in turn pours out tea or coffee for him.

At breakfast the post bag is unlocked, and the letters are distributed, some going upstairs to the ladies who may be breakfasting in their rooms. Newspapers are glanced at by some, more steadily read by the elder members of the party. The day's programme is discussed and then away to the business of the day, joining the others in any gathering which gives an opportunity for enjoyment of that character which holds the world's cachet as the sport of an English gentleman.

HUNTING

It has been wisely said that the first essential for hunting is pluck, the second skill, the third a good horse; also that a man may forgive you for breaking his daughter's heart, but never for breaking his hunter's neck !

Never mount a horse loaned by a friend, still less an enemy's, unless you are sure of your seat and ride really well.

Be most careful when out with hounds not to ride across them nor to injure one of these precious animals. In fact, keep your own head or you won't manage your horse's.

Don't ride up to carriages or motors wherein ladies of your acquaintance may be seated, in order to show your cleverness on horseback.

Keep your horse and yourself well in hand when the hounds throw off. You would never be forgiven if you went over and so beyond the hounds.

When escorting a lady who does not wish to be in at the death you must remain with her unless you have her permission to ride on, but you must rein in alongside of her as soon as possible and escort her home. If she is an unmarried lady, it is considered ungallant to leave her unattended.

Lunch is often " Al fresco " if you are out with the hounds.

The servants prepare the meal and the men wait as much as possible on the ladies of the party, who, if not actually riding to hounds, come sometimes to meet the sportsmen and to share their repast in the open with them.

When the "kill" is accomplished the brush is given to the lady riding in nearest to the fox.

The party rides back in leisurely fashion and are awaited by the rest of the house-party with gathering interest. The story of the run is recounted and the day ends its pleasant course.

WHAT TO WEAR

With regard to clothes, these vary but little, but it is just that " little " that means so much.

If a man has a right to join a Hunt he should surely be in a position to seek the skilled services of a good tailor, who will give him all necessary advice as to his dress for the important gathering.

One thing he must not do, that is to assume the ‘pink’ if he is not qualified to do so as a recognised member of a Hunt.

It is generally believed that an Englishman looks his best in hunting kit but it is well for the initiate, even if he belong to a certain Hunt and so be entitled to his pink coat, to wear a black coat if he goes down for a few days' hunting as a visitor elsewhere. Anyway a black coat is better than announcing the fact that your coat is in its very early youth !

Every gentleman riding to hounds has the social right of joining any Hunt breakfast should such hospitality be offered him, though he be a perfect stranger to his host. It is a meal at which there is no ceremony whatever-men coming and going at will. There is of course an all-round feeling of good fellowship at such a gathering.

At a hunt ball gentlemen belonging to a hunt wear ‘pink’ and very delightful is the dash of colour in a ball-room. Nowhere else does men's dress give such excellent effects as at one of these most enjoyable functions.

Dress rules for the Meet are most conservatively kept ; variation is only met in the choice of headgear, the velvet cap being sometimes displaced by the tall silk hat.

The usual white breeches, too, give place occasionally to dark ones-both of course being worn with the time-honoured riding boots.

The groom who has charge of the visitors' hunters is always well tipped-either 10s. or 20s. being usually given.

HOUSE PARTY FESTIVITIES

It requires a considerable amount of self-discipline to conform with good grace to all the plans for your amusement while staying as a guest at a country house - continually to be making one of a party ‘going here, doing this or that. Take, as an instance, going to luncheon at a neighbouring house whose members have visited by invitation (and doubtless for your entertainment) at the house where you are staying, and this being your only acquaintance with them, you are really almost strangers to each other.

SUNDAY

Contrary to London habit, luncheon parties on Sunday are not arranged in the country, nor does visiting take place on that day.

Church attendance, walks, a visit to the stables or the kennels, letter-writing, getting to know one another a bit, and a general personal touch fill out a country Sunday. Motor drives do take place, but the horses are very rarely out, and it is a sure thing that the candles are lit earlier on the Sabbath than on any other night of the week. At some houses cricket, tennis and croquet are played on Sunday afternoons, and billiards in the long winter evenings, but this is a matter whereon religious convictions and not rules of etiquette have the last word. No guest who disapproved would be pressed to join in these relaxations, nor would divergence of opinion be made the occasion of heated controversy. Both good manners and good feeling tell us that the " Day of Rest " should not be made a day of distress to anyone.

TIPS

A gentleman staying at a house gives to the butler and footmen 5s. or 10s., according to the length of stay, either a few days or under two weeks; the chauffeur 5s. for a long, 3s. for a short stay; the head housemaid 3s. to 5s. ; this would be augmented by a second gift from the wife of the visitor if she has been with him. The claims of outdoor servants are considered later.

SHOOTING

The etiquette of shooting is more easily acquired than the art ; indeed, there is very little beyond what courtesy and the love of fair play suggest. But there are a few matters whereon the beginner may benefit by counsel. In the first place, as to your licence. The cost of a game licence is £3, if taken out after July 31st and before November 1st, expiring July 31st following ; £2 if taken out after July 31st to expire following October 31st, or after October 31st to expire following July 31st. For the sum of £1 a licence can be had for fourteen days.

Remember especially to be gallant to the ladies who will probably join you out of doors, but don't lose sight of the fact that a woman usually takes what is going with no feminine weakness to mar the completeness of her sportsmanship and fellowship in the day's work. If there is much stubble to get over, just a pleasant word of warning will suffice ; if there is a bad stile to cross, your arm and hand will be appreciated to help her over. So you naturally play your part, as she graces hers, by becoming a good sensible companion who is not in the least a handicap in the day's doings.

Unless you are a hopeless misogynist you won't in the least mind a party of ladies coming out to lunch with you and eating, with merriment, from the goodly spread of mutton and pigeon pies, cold meats, sausage rolls and even hot Irish stew. These viands are all spread comfortably enough by your host's servants in a field or on the tail of the cart. If only the women will have the sense to go off in decent time, so as not to use up too much of the daylight over the fleshpots ! They often do not, and then the fly in the ointment is a very large one. Lucky if your host can warn the immediate members of his household who may be members of the party to leave in reasonable time to admit of your putting in as much work as the light allows.

There are certain courtesies to be observed in the field, among which may be mentioned that you never pass across another man's " sight," nor do you cross to a neighbour's fields to get a bird which is wounded, that is an unpardonable faux-pas. The bird that you pick up must be dead, and the etiquette of sport demands that you go over to the other man's grounds minus your gun, which you lay aside before going for the bird.

You will yourself take your gun to be cleaned to the gun-room, the place for your weapon being notified to you by the gamekeeper in charge. You will of course give a decent tip on your return to town for this assistance in the gun-room. As to fees or tips to the gamekeepers, these vary, 10s. up to £5 determined by the amount of shooting enjoyed.

A day's partridge shooting means a tip of a sovereign to the head gamekeeper; double the amount for a day's pheasant shooting would be correct. A gentleman would find himself badly placed on future occasions if he under-tipped on his first visit.

The following are the Shooting Seasons

Pheasant and partridge shooting from September 1st to February 1st inclusive.

Grouse-shooting, August 12th until December 10th.

Hares are shot up to March 1st.

Rabbits all the year round.

Rooks during spring and summer.

Close time for all wild birds, March 2nd until July 3ist.

Gun and game licenses expire July 31st.

[transcribed from ‘Etiquette for gentlemen. Published by Ward Lock and Co. London. No date. 1920/1930?]

[Stanley]

Essential knowledge.... !

[Tripps]

Fascinating and invaluable advice.

Not sure if it covers this situation, but it put me immediately in mind of this event. QE II kills pheasant.

[Stanley]

I remember that incident David and thought at the time that the protestors would have squealed even more loudly if they had been asked to bay a multi-thousand Pound vet's bill for treating the bird. Far better to wring it's neck and eat it. Does that make me a dinosaur or a realist?

[Stanley]

Still essential knowledge which we all should read!