Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

I got my wife a new bag and belt for her birthday.

She'll have that vacuum cleaner working again in no time.

[Tizer]

This is true...I had a message today from a friend/colleague who lives in New Zealand and worked in oils & fats technology as I did at the time. He updated me about another colleague who works on frying oils and has a reputation in NZ and Australia for solving the problems of businesses using such oils. Apparently he's now known as The Frying Doctor.

[Big Kev]

Very apt

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

I have a story for you Cathy.... When Margaret had her first child Katie she issued strict instructions that nobody was to swear in her earshot. Particularly me for some reason.
A few years later I was sat reading and Katie was doing something sat at the table and I heard her say "Bugger!" and it was quite obvious she knew exactly what it meant. I went in the kitchen and asked Margaret where Katie had heard this......
You've guessed it, it was home grown.....

[Big Kev]

When's Christmas?

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[Stanley]

Question, what's funny about dy Sember? Have I missed something?

[Cathy]

Read as It’s in December .
Is that right?

[Big Kev]

Read as It’s in December .
Is that right?

It is Cathy

[Cathy]

Clever

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

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[Cathy]

Oh dear, there’s not many good jokes out there at the moment, is there Kev.

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

Oh dear, there’s not many good jokes out there at the moment, is there Kev.

They are getting a bit thin on the ground.

This one made me smile

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[Stanley]

You're right Cathy, very few cartoons of note as well!

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

There's a kernel of truth in that joke Cathy.....

[Tizer]

Now that we have a military effort devoting more time and money to computer-operated weapons will the regiment be led by Colonel Panic?

[Stanley]

What an unfortunate name....

[Cathy]

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Not really a joke. It’s Bin Night tonight.
Does that say 17 or an unfinished 14?
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I worry about some people.

[Tizer]

What an unfortunate name....

It's a play on this... Wikipedia