Old fashioned clean jokes

[Stanley]

The lady is called Joelle and I do like her.....

[Cathy]

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[Big Kev]

[Gloria]

[Gloria]

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[Big Kev]

[Cathy]

[Stanley]

Yes, Even I got that one....

[Stanley]

[Cathy]

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[Gloria]

[Big Kev]

The inventor of the throat lozenge has sadly died, there will be no coffin at his funeral.

[Cathy]

….. Took a moment for the penny to drop.

[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

I thought this deserved a place in the jokes thread...

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[Stanley]

I saw the headline Peter but dismissed it. I think you're right.

[Big Kev]

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie stood and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

[Stanley]

The old ones are often the best!

[Cathy]

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[Cathy]

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[Gloria]

that took a bit of figuring.