A LIGHTER VEIN

[Stanley]

A LIGHTER VEIN

(2 October 2004)

I’ve been told that my last NOP about Spanish Flu was a bit depressing, some even say pessimistic. I thought I was being realistic, it is a serious problem. Still I can understand why it was seen as dark. So, in recompense, a couple of stories for you that need recording.
A few years ago I drove up Route 66 from LA to St Louis and stayed with good friends there, Paulette and Bob Bliss. Bob tried to teach me history at Lancaster and has since moved back home and taken up an eminent academic post with the University of Missouri. As part of the entertainment I was invited by Bob to see what the Americans call ‘Commencement’, we would call it a graduation ceremony. It was held in a basketball stadium and I trailed behind Bob into the robing room where we had a drink and the participants donned their academic robes.
The first thing I noted was that Bob’s doctoral robe was on its last legs, there was a large tear in it and I pointed this out thinking that perhaps he hadn’t noticed it. It turned out it was his father’s gown and Bob said if it was good enough for his dad it was good enough for him.
While we were stood waiting for the off I noticed a bloke moving round the room with a small entourage shaking hands with all who were present. He advanced towards us, held out his hand to me and as I shook it I told him my name and asked who he was. It’s hard to describe the man’s reaction, there was shock but at the same time it was obvious I had completely wrong-footed him. Before he could say anything an aide sprang forward and informed me I had just shaken hands with Brian Mulroney, Prime Minister of Canada from 1984 to 1993. (This was the man who introduced a highly unpopular tax on goods and services and resigned before the 1993 election in which his party suffered a catastrophic electoral defeat, largely blamed on him and his policies.)
So this was why he looked shocked, being asked for his name was definitely not what he was expecting. Funnily enough, one person smiled broadly, the striking woman stood slightly behind him, his wife, I rather think she enjoyed the moment. Mulroney moved swiftly on, Bob gave me a funny look and asked if I had really not known him or had been having a go. I told him it was perfectly genuine, I knew about Mulroney and the election debacle but hadn’t known that he was the significant person invited to present the awards.
There was another notable incident at the ceremony. There was a woman called Sue Shear in a wheelchair receiving an Honorary Doctorate, she was dying of cancer at the time. Sue was enormously popular because of her work supporting women, especially in public life and there was a standing ovation for her. Mulroney followed with his speech and started with the remark, “I know now how to become popular in St Louis. Be see walking down the street with Dr Shear” This went down like a lead balloon and from then on it deteriorated. It was a politician’s trick used in the wrong place at the wrong time. I turned to the woman sat next to me and made some remark about the dignity of the lady who had received the award and it turned out I was sat in the middle of her family and for once had said exactly the right thing.
The other story concerns the Mayor of Bielefeld in Germany. I met him when he visited Ellenroad Engine House where I was project director. Rochdale was twinned with Bielefeld and we were part of the annual visit. I showed him round and noted what an impressive man he was. After we had done the tour and he had asked some very searching questions about the funding he turned to me and said “Mr Graham, do you know the advertising slogan of Audi?” I replied “Vorsprung durch technik” He said “Good, do you know what it means?” I said that roughly translated it meant progress through technology. He said “Good, do you also understand the Yiddish word chutzpah?” I said yes, roughly it describes a man who murders his parents and then throws himself on the mercy of the court as an orphan. The Mayor said “Good, I suggest a suitable motto for Ellenroad would be Vorsprung Durch Chutzpah!”. I think he had just about hit the nail on the head. After he had gone John Pierce, who later became Chief Executive at Rochdale, told me a story about a visit to Bielefeld in the early days of the twinning. It should be noted that during the war Bielefeld railway viaduct was a very important target and it was bombed many times. In the end it was completely destroyed by one of Barnes Walliss’ 'Grand Slam' ten ton bombs. The visiting party was stood on the battlements of the local castle looking out over the valley and the railway line and one of the Rochdale councillors was heard to say “By hell, I’ll bet you had a grand view from here of the bombers coming in during the war!” Another visitor was asked by a German lady if he had been to Bielefeld before and he said “Oh aye, I think so but these places all look the same from 3,000 feet”.
It must be my age. I get a feeling every now and again that these stories have to be recorded so you might as well suffer with me! I’ll leave you to mend. (2 October 2004)