Family Matters

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Tizer
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Re: Family Matters

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My dad's equivalent to your mum's behaviour, Liz, is that when asked by doctors or nurses how he is he'll invariably say "Yes", partly because he wants to be rid of them and partly due to pride. But when we ask him he'll say "Terrible, terrible".

Thanks for your concern about us, both of you, but don't worry too much, we're used to it now and know we have to avoid getting depressed. I think the experience of having run our own business for 20 years helps too. It makes me wonder how some others cope when they have less experience of dealing with `authority' and organising people to get the best outcome.

We received an electricity bill for my dad's flat today. That'll be one thing less to deal with when he goes into a nursing home. The bill has gone up and up in the three years he's been in the Extra Care flat, we think because he leaves the bathroom light on and there's a powerful fan going continuously. It isn't the money that's a problem so much as having to track everything. There have been all the payments for carers and others such as chiropodist, hairdresser etc. Again, we're not saying he shouldn't have to pay but he can't handle money and we have to find ways of paying everyone and checking he's not being over-charged. I have to thank Mrs Tiz for doing a wonderful job of that - she's a `natural' at dealing with accounts and, again, the business experience helps. :smile:
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Re: Family Matters

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"It makes me wonder how some others cope when they have less experience of dealing with `authority' and organising people to get the best outcome."
Indeed! I always remember when reading your collective posts that I am watching the elite of caring children operating in a flawed system. There must be some terrible cases out there where the people involved are not so well equipped. Ideally the system should be geared to allowing for this but I am afraid it is nowhere near this acme of perfection. I am still fuming at the thought of that arrogant and unqualified assessor being in a position where she can try to usurp the tattooed doctor! Methinks that some clear and unequivocal guidelines need to be instituted and enforced there for a start.
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Re: Family Matters

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Mrs Tiz read my post and then reminded me that not only did the assessor want the bladder scan but she also requested that they measure his liquid inputs and outputs. This would have involved the nurses in recording every drink and collecting all his urine and measuring that too. No wonder the doc was fuming! But he's a tough type, he won't be beaten. I now realise who he reminds me of - think about the Time Team, they sometimes include a big bloke in leathers and leather boots, rides a motor cycle and is their expert, I think, on early Samian pottery ware or similar! :smile:
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Re: Family Matters

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Paul Blinkhorn...did the pub dig with Rory McGrath. The internet is a wonderful aid for ageing brains! After a couple of minutes struggle I came up with Rory....Googled Rory & archaeology and up came THIS.
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Re: Family Matters

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Good bloke that Paul Blinkhorn. Incredibly knowledgeable and he could identify what just looked like a small pebble and even tell you where it was made..... Impressive.
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Re: Family Matters

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That's the man! :cool4:
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Re: Family Matters

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Two close relatives and one dear friend are currently in the throes of hose moves. Martha and Roger in Northfield MN are packed up ready for the biggest move of their life, from the US to their new home in Shepton Mallet. Big life changes for all of them.....
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Re: Family Matters

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Lucky Martha, Shepton Mallet...she'll be almost on the doorstep of the Royal Bath & West Agricultural Showground. Lots of events all year round! Better check that she knows cider is alcoholic in Britain (especially in Somerset), not apple juice as in the US. One of Mrs Tiz's Canadian cousins visited us and we took them to an old pub where there is no bar, you stand alongside the landlord as he pours your pint. Cousin had her young kids with her and she asked them what they wanted. They opened a cooler cabinet and came back with a bottle each. One was strong cider and the other was an alcopop!
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Re: Family Matters

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I think it would be a good idea if I introduced you to |Martha and Roger. you would get on well together and even though they think they are au fait with all things English they would benefit from a cultural advisor. Lovely people.....
How far are you from Shepton?
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Re: Family Matters

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Today would have been our Dan's 35th birthday, as is becoming the norm we will be going on a family walk to celebrate his life. It's going to be a Malham circular today. We are meeting up at the car park in Malham at 1.00pm. Our walk will take us up to Janet's Foss, Gordale (but not to the scar), up the fell towards the the Tarn then we will return via the dry valley and Malham Cove then follow Malham Beck which becomes the infant Aire back into the village for tea at the Listers Arms.
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Re: Family Matters

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Our thoughts are with you on your walk, Panbiker.
We haven't forgotten Dan.
Hope there are some lovely moments for you...
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Re: Family Matters

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Hope it stays dry for you Ian. A lovely thing to do.
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Re: Family Matters

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Thanks everyone, it was a nice walk, with just a bit of light rain in the air when we were on the top of the cove. A very good meal at the Listers Arms as well. It goes without saying that we would rather have had Dan with us as well. Carla and Jack were plotting strategy for their ongoing training for the Great North Run that they are both doing in September. Jack is running for Bosom Friends and Carla is running for Candlighters, the children's cancer cancer charity.

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Table visitor at the Listers Arms.

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Re: Family Matters

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Sounds like a good day, glad you had the right weather.
The Lister's Arms..... Vera and I used to go up there for a meal as a treat. Happy memories. More exciting memories of the other pub across the back, I forget its name. That's where John Lawson single handed arrested a bunch of yobs from Bradford who were causing trouble.....The police were very impressed!
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Re: Family Matters

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The other pub in the village is the Buck, we had our first day evening meal there when we did the coast to coast last August. Both are good but Listers have the edge and a huge range of beers from the pumps.
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Re: Family Matters

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That's the one.....
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Re: Family Matters

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Sally's mum Louise passed away yesterday after a very short and unexpected illness. She was taken Ill on Monday and died yesterday at Airedale in the ICU she was 89 years old.
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Re: Family Matters

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I'm so sorry to hear that. Please pass on my condolences to Sally. Everyone will say 'but she lived a long life", it makes no difference, it's still her Mum and the grieving still happens.
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Re: Family Matters

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Well said Liz. Sorry to hear that Sally & Ian.
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Re: Family Matters

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My condolences.
If you keep searching you will find it
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Re: Family Matters

Post by Cathy »

My condolences to you all.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. :)
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Re: Family Matters

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Liz is dead right, no matter how natural or Merciful it is still a loss but Sally will have done a lot of her grieving already because she has done everything a daughter could or should do. If she feels relieved it is all over she should not feel guilty.....
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Re: Family Matters

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Sally can take some comfort from the fact that her mother didn't have to live through a long deterioration after the short illness, which all too often happens. When we visited Mrs Tiz's mother in her nursing home on the weekend the only movement we could detect was her eyelids lifting slightly, so we assume she knew someone was speaking to her but we don't know if she recognised us. She's immobile in bed, can't speak and can hardly swallow, due to supranuclear palsy. She's so frail that you wonder how she remains alive. She and dad always wanted their lives to end quickly and not to be dragged out into a vegetative state. They supported the campaigns for dignified dying. But there's nothing we can do for her but make sure she's well looked after. The trouble is we're now better at prolonging lives than we are at keeping people in good health. If I get into that situation I want it ending quickly, but how? The doctors won't let you die. And by the time you get into that state you're no longer independent and can't go and throw yourself off a cliff. Sorry if all this sounds a bit morbid but we do need some positive action to be taken on dignified dying and to balance the arguments of those who oppose it.
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Re: Family Matters

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Thanks all for your kind comments, I have passed them all on to Sally and Julia.

Louise was Sat in her chair and talking to one of her carers when she brought her a cup of tea just before lunch time on Monday. Emma left her to attend to another resident but called back 10 minutes later to take her through for her dinner and found her unconscious in the chair. Paramedics were called, first responder and emergency ambulance were attending to her by the time we got round 10 minutes later. They took her on blue light to Airedale and into resus, where she eventually regained consciousness.
They transferred her through to an A&E bay for further tests and then on to the ICU. When we left her on Monday night, she was frail but lucid and could recognize everyone around her. They gave her a sedative to help her rest. When we went on Tuesday she was having and echo cardiogram which confirmed that she had quite a lot of damage to her heart. Louise was still very sleepy but knew we were there. Cardiologist had been in attendance and we came away with a view to ringing him the following day to expand on what the nursing staff could tell us. We left at 5pm and made our way back to Barlick but got a call just as we got back to say that Louise had taken a turn for the worse. I drove straight through and back to the hospital but we arrived 5 minutes after she had passed away. Her named nurse from the ICU was with her when she died.

All who attended to her were brilliant, the paramedics, crash team at Airedale, doctors and nurses were all informative reassuring and compassionate. Sally has mentioned that it was a better exit than her dad who spent two years deteriorating, first at home with daily nursing care and then into high dependency nursing home, bed bound and in Tommy's own words, buggered and frustrated. It was very hard watching him go downhill.

All very fast with Louise, a shock and the inevitable roller coaster that we are on for a short while yet. LIz is right, 89 a full life lived but still a mum, you only get one. She was good Mother in Law as well.
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Re: Family Matters

Post by PanBiker »

When we finally arrived home on Tuesday we found news of the latest addition to the family who is the first Australian Lambert.

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Welcome to Luke Jonathan Turnbull Lambert, firstborn for Ruth and Matt who live in Perth. Luke was born on Tuesday afternoon (our time). His dad is my nephew Matt who is the youngest of my brothers lads. He and Ruth married in the UK a couple of years ago. Matt was formerly an Army Officer, they both had jobs to go to in Australia so decided to settle down under.

Welcome to the family Luke.
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