Old fashioned clean jokes

[plaques]

Had me baffled at first then I started to think about Kev's oblique sense of humor.
Starting with the Meme "say no more". Say no ore You get what may be considered 'unintended consequences'.
If you the follow a similar Meme on "you can only go for one walk a day". One Walk a day . You finish up with Kev's posting. What I want to know is why Kev is reading the Daily Mail?

[Big Kev]

Sorry Kev, please explain it to me. (I am very old and slow)

The two guys in the bottom pic are The Proclaimers, the chorus of the song is
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

I reckon I should have put it in Mystery Objects

[Big Kev]

Had me baffled at first then I started to think about Kev's oblique sense of humor.
If you the follow a similar Meme on "you can only go for one walk a day". One Walk a day . You finish up with Kev's posting. What I want to know is why Kev is reading the Daily Mail?

Daily Mail? Erm, no...

It popped up on a social media post, it just made me smile.

[Big Kev]

I'll try not to be so cryptic

Saw this in Facebook land and thought it needed sharing

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[Tizer]

Delightful!

[Stanley]

Lovely! I have a condom story....
John Pudney once took me on a tour of London's docklands before they got trendy. We went to call on one of his friends who lived in what was the first premises used by The London Rubber Company, trade name 'Durex'. (I've always thought that was a strange name yo use....) The inhabitant was an RA who when we called was painting a commissioned portrait of Violet Bonham-Carter. He was dressed in a cloak and a large purple sombrero in the house. An unforgettable visit.

[Cathy]

Drunk Elephants passed out in a tea garden, after they dug up and drained vats of corn wine in a village in Yunnan Province, China.

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[Tripps]

sanitise.jpeg

[Tizer]

Both lovely images! I'm glad the elephants were only drunk and hadn't been eating pangolins!

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

A friend of mine works as a bank teller and told me "Gee, I was frightened when this guy came in wearing a mask until I realised he just wanted to rob us".

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

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[Cathy]

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If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and ‘sing’
When you’re feeling in the dumps, don’t be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle, that’s the thing,

And (Let me hear you )

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
do, do do, do do do do do do

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
do, do do, do do do do do do

You’re sounding Wonderful

And this time with Gusto ...

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
do, do do, do do do do do do

Have A Great Day Everyone .

[plaques]

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.

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[Stanley]

Both good but lower one is best I think!

[plaques]

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.


The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a university graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise that," said the manager, "Here, give me the broom...I'll show you how it works."

[plaques]

Alcoholics.jpg

[Tizer]

Plaques, your loo roll reminded me of this video Loo roll

[Stanley]

P, graduate joke is brilliant!
Tiz, Loo roll video could be close to the truth before the year is out in terms of living by barter for some..

[plaques]

Coronavirus.jpg

[Tizer]

That's another spooky one! I saw that image on a web site and thought about putting it on OG but the image had the caption in Hebrew (no, I don't speak Hebrew but the web page text explained it.) And here it is for any Hebrew speakers out there...

[plaques]

Working from home.jpg

[Tizer]

She's saying "Well, they told me to lock down my child!"

What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?
One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.

[Big Kev]

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This made me smile.