Old fashioned clean jokes

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

It ain't easy!!

[Big Kev]

A teacher is explaining biology to her third grade students. She says, "Human beings are the only creatures that stutter." A little girl raises her hand, saying, "I once had a kitty cat that stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty, and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew It, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary!"

The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss'. And before she could say 'Sh*t,' the Rottweiler ate her!"

[Big Kev]

and another

While on holiday in Spain with my wife..

I started to feel funny. I had some pain in my chest and felt short of breath. I chalked it up to the long day we had just had, but I continued to feel worse. As we got out of the taxi and walked into the hotel, I collapsed.

It became apparent to my wife and I that I was having a heart attack. I thought for sure I would die because the nearest hospital was 1/2 hour away.

Suddenly from the back room came a woman wielding a defibrillator. She shouted to the other staff to help and they ripped off my shirt and restarted my heart right there in the hotel.

The ambulance arrived 20 minutes later, but thanks to this amazing woman my life had been saved. I spent the night in the hospital but I got out around noon the next day. I went back to the hotel to thank this woman.

I said, "I'm amazed that a hotel this small has a full-time doctor as skilled as yourself!"

She replied, "No one expects the Spanish Inn physician."

[Gloria]

[Stanley]